Panic attack

 I’m trying to document real time so I can remember my symptoms. Facial and hand numbness, difficult to get a full deep breath, tremors, panic. I just took .5 of the last Ativan that I have left. 

I hope I’m not having a stroke. 

I’m hesitant to go to the ER because it’s like basically I KNOW it’s anxiety, but I hate this. It feels like such a setback in an otherwise “right track” progression. 

I am starting to feel “normal” - interested in nature, my children, etc. As sad as that is, it’s progress and I was so happy. 

Nathan thinks it’s because I had 2 cups of coffee on an empty stomach. This is probably true. 

But if I am telling myself these things and I do truly believe them, then why is my body reacting physically like it is. Absolute panic. It’s awful. 

How can I function like this?

All we did was go to Hobby Lobby and I had a breakdown. Like immediately had to leave. 

The kids were amazing, Nathan was good, it’s a beautiful day… who knows. 

Prayers needed.