Fair fun!

Nathan came back! I am happy and whole again!

We spent Friday celebrating at Longhorn (yummy!) and then we went to the Fair with my mom and brother. We ate boiled peanuts (a first for me (and last)), pizza, corn dogs, ice cream, funnel cake, a turkey leg, and onion rings! Nathan won me a chihuahua (we found out it was actually Desperaux, but I am still calling him chihuahua), a banana, and a cat picture that says "I love you" in Comic Sans. Good, hokey fair fun! He also got me a cowboy hat for novelty value. We rode the Ferris wheel and another ride where I laughed my butt off out of terror. Seriously. It was wonderful!

This is our Fall Break at school until Wednesday, but I have a test Wednesday, and I have to work Tuesday, so I really only get one day off. Lame.

Anyway, I am probably going to meet Nathan for lunch at work today (since it's almost 1 in the morning), and clean my house a bit!

Nothing super exciting, but updates nonetheless.

Ferris wheel love!

:)

Me and my mom!

This corn dog was suggestive...

Me and my prizes that my fiance won for me :)

My NEW BOOTS! <3

Nathan with the Fox. Also getting the "bunny fingers".

One of our photos from In Sienk Photography!

The weekend that beats all weekends

Nathan and I had an incredible almost four days together exclusively. It was wonderful. My first giant slice of happiness happened on Friday when they let me go home from work almost 4 hours early! I went home and super cleaned (I needed it as much as my house needed it) and waited for Nathan to come over. I can't even remember all of the amazing things we ate and did this weekend! But let's see:
Friday night we tried to make it to Earth Fare in time to get some pizza. We missed it. So we kind of got lost driving to Chipotle, got some kind of okay food, drove to Gigi's, got four awesome cupcakes, and played an alphabet food game that we made up as we went. After dinner, we cuddled and watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and marveled at how much Gene Wilder was acting so far ahead of his time. He's incredible! Also, I ate cupcake number one.

Saturday was the real start to our weekend, and it was a great one! We decided a long time ago that we wanted to go to pre-marital counseling before we get married. In preparation, both of us were asked to do some deep, childhood, soul searching, and left us begging for more. We both were eating this stuff up, talking about it and figuring out where we both were. Saturday was our first session, and there were lots of good tears, lots of encouragement, hope, and safety offered. It was wonderful. We both can't wait to go back next month! Nathan and I had both said that we really wanted to go every weekend of we could! It was very eye opening, and wonderful, and I am so excited for the changes that await us in the future! We had Chinese for lunch, and then after our unloading at the counseling session, we held hands and walked around the outlet mall just talking and window shopping. For dinner we we to pizza hut, and then we talked at Starbucks until we both almost fell asleep!

Sunday morning Nathan and I went to church. Andy Stanley has been doing the Guardrails series which was very influential to me a few years ago when he first started doing it, so I was glad that Nathan could share this with me. It was a very good, close to home topic that got me crying, but it was wonderful to see that we were nothing doing things to keep our relationship golden! After church we went to Goodwill and I got a new denim dress that I have been looking for, a few shirts, and even Nathan found a new shirt! I love thrifting! After that, we went to Target and Michaels, went to KFC, stuffed our faces, and watched Kitchen Nightmares and Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I also ate cupcake number two. After the movie was over, we mushed together and asked each other questions to learn about each other and invented stories and laughed a lot. It's funny how you think you know someone, but you never think that you may not know the simplest of things. I forgot what Nathan's favorite color was, his favorite number, his favorite Harry Potter book, his favorite love song, etc. Things that let you know the person you are with. I treasure the moments like that.

Today, we got up early and went to Cracker Barrel after playing the ukulele and making some music, and walked around Kohl's before heading home to take a nap in the rain. We woke up, had an early dinner of leftovers, watched Kitchen Nightmares, cuddled , did our devotion, and ate the last two cupcakes (that means that I ate three of the four. Thanks, Nathan!).

I am stuffed, probably 5 pounds heavier, and totally, utterly, completely happy without a worry in the world. I get to marry this man!

love + growth

Nathan and I had an "old date". This meant meeting in Commerce, getting dinner, paroosing for books and shopping the outlet mall, and getting coffee and talking for hours, like we did when we were just starting to date and our love was just a little bud waiting to bloom!

It was my favorite night. Well, so far for this year. Yes, even better than my engagement night. See, I cherish and love the night of my engagement. I didn't know it was going to happen and he asked me to be his wife forever, but! Tonight. We talked so long about happy and wonderful things and about our growth in God and spirituality and how we want to raise our children and our ideals and how we want to learn from our parents and still be in love with each other even when we are 95 and date each other and surprise each other. We talked a lot about God. We both are going to read a lot and hold each other accountable of things. I fell deeper in love with this intelligent, spiritual, God fearing and convicted man tonight. His want to do everything "right" helps me with my growth, and if we have each others' backs we will do wonderfully.

I was listening to Chris Rice today (as I do often) and one line struck me and it hit home very much. In the song "Prone to Wander" he says "Freedom from myself will be the sweetest rest I've ever known". It's so true. I am my own worst enemy, and once I have this freedom, I will be able to be happy and carefree. Today was one of those days, and I was truly happy an enjoyed every second I was with Nathan. Not a worry crossed my mind and we didn't speak about wedding plans! It was a genuine date, one where we could enjoy each other and talk and laugh and take the stress away.

I am in love.
With God and Nathan and where my life and relationships and outlooks on life are going.

Thank you thank you thank you, God.

psuedo-anniversary

It's Nathan's and my one-year-and-four-month anniversary today, and I am ever the most thankful to God for him more and more as these little milestones come and go. He's the best, sweetest, caring, amazing, loving man ever. This song that I posted last time means so much. I love it, and it completely embodies what he does to me!

He wants to sing it together and that scares the everything out of me! But I promised I'd at least hum it today, so I guess I'll give it a try. I just hate to hear myself sing! Unlike my wonderful songbird boyfriend, I am not musically gifted. At least not in the ways that I would like! Everyone in my family is musically talented. My dad, mother, and brother can all play guitar and sing. I cannot. I can play 4 notes on a ukulele. That's all! I guess you have to start somewhere :)

I have no idea what we are doing today, but I love him and I will love everything we will do, even if it's just walking around downtown or relaxing around the house! We were talking about weddings last night (and every time we say we won't, we do!) and Nathan wants the fox invites:

Other things on Pinterest that suit my fancy:

I just noticed that I tend to color coordinate even if it's by accident.

Cheers!

yesterday

Yesterday was wonderful! Nathan and I texted (text?) all day and I got back on a regular sleep schedule! But what's better than that was we went to dinner, sang the Avett Brothers, kissed and cuddled in the restaurant like love birds, and I cheated on my diet (It was delicious. I forget what real food taste like sometimes), and then when we came home we had REAL blackberry cobbler that Nathan made for me! (It's extra special because he has battle wounds from fire ants and bushes because he PICKED them himself out of his yard -- What a man!)

It was delicious, and we cuddled until almost midnight, and then we had to say goodbyes. I hate those!

I get to see him again tonight for dinner at his house with his parents and Saturday is our one year and four month anniversary! It feels longer, and yet at the same time not as long as that. I love this man. We have gone through a lot together in this year and almost 4 months, and we have grown a lot. I see it a lot in Nathan. He has surprised me so much. He's sweet, and honest, and amazing, and always doing little sweet things for me, and he's grown into quite the man.

I like the words to this song. My boyfriend could sing it better, I think (and not as twangy).

"Elegant and soft
Feminine as you ought
One with earth and one with God
Won't you please forgive me
Won't you please forgive me

As the daylight sinks
As I fail to stop and think
Once I cursed the things I've done
Won't you please forgive me
Won't you please forgive me

Young bride take my name
Burn the questions burn the shame
You don't have to live by them
Won't you please forgive them
Won't you please forgive them

Sleep well when the night time falls
Wait 'till morning when I call
Don't believe the bad you saw
Won't you please forgive them

Tenderness and grace
How you've come this place
However dangerous or safe
I'll find within you
I'll find within you"

OMG, and this one:

 

I saw this cool thing from Pinterest from Wedding Chicks where you can make your own little monogram/initial iPhone paper, so of course I had to do it. Here it is! (and me getting ready for our date night out).

the happiest

Well, I had a busy day!

No sleep (because of Tango...) and then I went on a cleaning rampage to eradicate these little flea bastardos that have been inhabiting on my couch and my cat. I sprayed all the baseboards, and bombed the house and washed and vacuumed everywhere with flea powder. I am PRAYING so hard that I have finally killed these things.

After that I went to the gym and realized how out of shape I am, and then Nate came over and we made stuffed peppers, and went to Menchies and cuddled and just hung out at home and sang and laughed and it was the most perfect. I love nights like this one. Just being with him makes me realize what a lucky soul I am to have a wonderful man like Nathan. He's selfless and wonderful and just does his best to make me happy, and I try to do the same for him, but wow. He knocks it out of the park! He's just the sweetest and I love nothing more than looking at him and just taking it all in while we are just relaxing.

He's got my heart!

soup for breakfast

It's weird and all, but it works when you're sick.

I'm going on day 7 (Nathan is on day 9) of being sick. Everyday there is a new symptom it seems, or at least, things are getting worse. I can breathe out of my nose now, but my cough has reached croup-like status, and i have terrible cramps and and and... it's just awful. And if Nathan is any indication of what this thing will be like for me, I have at least another 2 days of this mess. It's terrible. All I can be grateful for is that I am not in nursing school, or doing an externship. I feel like I would have failed out by now and gotten fired. It's heavily debilitating. The day before yesterday I slept for 4 hours during the day and then slept all night. It's ridiculous.

I had the biggest breakfast yesterday! Nate made me a waffle (which I haven't had in year and years) and I had a sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit, and fruit. It doesn't seem that huge, but those carbs had me going ALL day. Then we sat in the bed and drank tea and cuddled. It was wonderful :)

I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do while I'm "young". I really want to travel. I have never been past West Virginia at the furthest, and I would love to go see Oregon, Colorado, Washington, California, even Texas! Just anywhere! I would love to see everything and take everything God has made! Why should I be limited to one coast? I shouldn't! Waking up to these different places would be wonderful and an experience of growth I believe. Like you leave home to find home. How can I know where I'm happiest if I never look?

Ahh. I would love it!

I also want to hike at least part of the AT, preferably with Nathan. You would super get to know each other better, that's for sure! I know at times I would hate it. Absolutely hate it and want to give up. But having encouragement and knowing how far I have hiked and knowing how awesome my legs would be at the end of it might be enough to keep me going!

I want to super travel oversees too. I'd love to just backpack across Europe for like a month, just taking in everything. Italy, Ireland, France, Japan, Germany, Greece, Spain... all of it! The architecture over there would be amazing to see, and I feel like it would be really moving. Just to know that hundreds and thousands of years ago these things were built for their beauty and not for their efficiency like over here. The top place I would love to go would be Israel. It really sucks that things are dangerous over there because I feel like that would be the best moment of my life. Seeing where my Savior was born and walked and taught. It gives me shivers! I'd probably cry the whole time like a baby.

There are SO many things that I even want to do here! All those times that Nathan and I just sit at home when we could be walking the Greenway, or visiting the botanical gardens, or exploring Athens, or Madison, or going to the Aquarium, or the World of Coke, or the Renaissance Fair, or visiting our coffee shop, or having a picnic. I just want to explore!

I am a very torn person. A lot of me is a homebody, and then there is a part of me that just loves to travel and run away from everything. I'm afraid that if I didn't have Nathan I would live my life as a nomad, taking crappy part time jobs everywhere just so I could save up enough money to go go go go. Life gets overwhelming and I want to escape. It's bizarre. Why would I want to run from everything I know to somewhere that I know nothing about? Maybe the newness of it all would be more overwhelming and would take my mind off of it. I don't know.

Enough of my ramblings.

boyfriend face & music & cupcakes

I kept waking up all night. Such is the problem with nursing school. My stress level has been over 9000 since starting this semester. I wake up all the time, at all hours, with bizarre dreams. Can I not express how much I need for this semester to be over?! Prayers prayers prayers.

Last night I got to see (and kiss!) my boyfriend's naked face since he shaved his beard off. It was weird and wonderful at the same time.

rainy days and love

During the terrible rainy stretch over the weekend, Nathan and I hung out and had one of the best days ever! We went to Little Italy downtown and stuffed our faces (I ate a meatball sub the size of a leg and I was so full, it hurt, and he had pizza, which is what I should have gone with). Then we walked around downtown together in the rain (under an umbrella) and got lost trying to find Gigi's Cupcakes since I had only been there one time and Nathan had never been there. That place is amazing! We finally found it, and we got a kentucky bourbon cupcake, a pumpkin cupcake, and a tiramisu cupcake! Tiramisu was the best!

Then we went to Trader Joe's so I could get some wasabi seaweed snacks. It sounds gross, but they are pretty good! I also saw some calla lilies and I was super tempted to buy some, but I still have my beautiful roses from Valentine's Day, so I refrained even though they're my favorite! I really want to find some peonies somewhere. They are the most beautiful flowers ever (besides calla lilies)!

Then to Home Depot to find stuff for Nate to build a coat rack. Anyway, even though it doesn't sound like the greatest day (besides the food), it was one of those days where I just fell in love all over again! The whole time we held hands and skipped in the rain and told stories and hugged a lot and talked about lots and lots of things like family and friends and love and God. It was the best day I've had in a long time, even though it was cold and rainy.

I can't wait for a blessed day like that again!

times like these

I made some more rings today! I sure can't wait to open my Etsy shop ;)

Then Nathan came over, and I gave him his ring I made, and then we took a much needed nap, and then we talked a lot and then we ate pizza (oh how I love pizza!) and then we came home and cuddled on the couch and listened to good, healthy, music and talked and held each other. It was my favorite! I think our couch dates are becoming my favorite, well, next to mountain dates. And, and, and oh my goodness! Nathan and I will be celebrating our anniversary on the 9th! It's bizarre to think about how much we have grown together in just a year! I met an amazing man, got into nursing school, and moved out on my own. Nathan was amazing when we met, but he's grown up a lot, as have I. I am so blessed to say that he is mine, and I am so thankful for how much we have both gone through together!

I remember way back in the beginning I would use a code name when blogging about him, and he was Beard and then Hipsterjack (or vice versa). I couldn't wait to see him for our next date (I still feel that way!) and I would get so so so so nervous when I saw him. I'm glad we are way past that stage :)

Well, it's 4 in the flipping morning and terrible movies are on TV and I can't sleep, but I guess I should try.

thoughts and love and things

Life as an adult is HARD.

What I wouldn't give to be a kid again with forever summers and no responsibilities and free food and housing, unlimited time with your friends, a bountiful imagination, a certain naivety that escapes us as we grow up, and zero stress. I wouldn't give up my sweetest boyfriend and best friend, Nathan, and I wouldn't give up my maturity and experience... but all of the kids stuff would be fantastic. I think about being a kid and it makes me want to cry because I will never have that EVER again. I probably spend an abnormally long amount of time thinking about when I was little, before tons of bad things happened in my life and the lives of others around me. Playing until it got dark, coloring, making up stories, having tea parties, playing hide and seek, super nintendo, and recording your favorite songs on TAPE off of the RADIO. And then, I think about how stupid I was when I was little and I couldn't wait to grow up.

Now, I am adult. I have school, hours upon hours of studying and less and less of sleep, stress coming from all directions, money worries, job worries, relationship strain, spiritual crises! Oh, the joys of being an adult. I can't complain though. I have learned a lot. I value so much in my life. I love my family, my friends that I meet everyday, my boyfriend, how much I've grown spiritually... All of this because I grew up.

I'm still super immature in some areas though... but that can't be helped. Right now I should be making more drug cards for OB, and studying for an OB test, and looking at GA legislative stuff regarding nursing, but here I am listening to Law and Order and blogging. Some things never change :)

Boyfriend and I had an awesome mountain date in the gloominess on Sunday. We went to a really cool antique store in Sautee, and went to the Sweetwater Coffeehouse and Nate got me a brownie that was mega super awesome, and we had chai teas and we played mancala and mushed and went to this other place in Helen but I can't remember the name and we got wings and listened to drunk people yell about football and came back home and cuddled and looked at wedding venues even though we aren't even engaged. But it was the best! I LOVE the mountain dates. LOVE them. I love the drive because I get to hold hands with Nate and sing and laugh and talk about everything under the sun. He's my best friend, and I'm so glad that he's mine!

I started my first OB clinical today! I got to feel the fundus of a postpartum patient and a patient at 20 weeks, I got to administer medication and give a Tdap shot, remove an INT, assess a postpartum patient, and I got to let a lady hear her fetal heartbeat with the doppler! It was an amazing day and further reaffirmed why I am busting my butt and crying and stressing over school. I will LOVE being a nurse!

I am so thankful for everything that I have in my life and how things have turned out. I remember being so stressed to get INTO nursing school, and now I have a semester under my belt and only 3 more to go until I am BSN Wilson. I got the externship at the hospital on the medical floor for the summer! I am SO nervous/excited. It will be a learning experience for sure!

Ok, I am going to go to bed I think. I have to be at the hospital at 6:30 tomorrow!

The most perfectly wonderful day

My boyfriend...

He's fantastic! Nate took me on a surprise trip! To the Biltmore Estate in NC! It was the coolest!

We got to tour the humongous house, the gardens, the greenhouse, see monstrous goldfish in the ponds, amazing mountain views, do a wine tasting and a tour of the winery, ate delicious food, got home made ice cream, and I bought some delicious dips and stuff. My boyfriend was just the sweetest! Then we drove home and he showed me his video he made for his grandparents' 50th anniversary and it was adorable. I fell a little more in love with him today :) He leaves tomorrow for work, and I am going to miss him dearly.

He's the best :)