excitement!

Things have been pretty wonderful lately! Nathan and I are learning more and more about each other and growing in God. He is reading Wild at Heart, which is giving him good insight into himself and into me, and I am reading about not being stressed out all the time! :) It is seeming to work! I am a lot happier and a lot more calm, not thinking about the things that I used to all the time, and now they are growing rarer and rarer everyday (which I am super thankful for!). I went to the doctor the other day and I am still hovering around 130 (129.5). I feel like mostly because I haven't been sticking to my diet like I should be! Nathan and I have been enjoying ourselves... with food! The other day I took him to a Mexican restaurant that he had never been to, and while the fish tacos were delicious, the pickled jalepenos super hurt my stomach :(

I also bought some new Chacos the other day after much pursuasion from Nathan, and we toured around 5 Points in Athens and ate a lot of pizza at Earth Fare. It was a wonderful, wonderful day! Today after I get off work and Nathan meets me home, we are going for a long walk, and then we are going to eat all of the calories we just burned by indulging in Olive Garden's unlimited pasta bowl. It is my favorite event of the year, except for Christmas. Maybe Thanksgiving, because I get to ride horses. But, pasta, for real. Also, today I looked for more wedding stuff at Goodwill, like I do all week, but I couldn't find anything for the wedding. However, I did find 4 dresses, 2 of which were 3 dollars a piece, a cardigan for me, and a flannel shirt for Nathan that matches my flannel dress that I bought! I smell engagement pictures!!!!

Anyway, we are narrowing down plans for our pre-marital counseling, and wedding planning has gone on hold for the most part. I have to start school on Thursday, and I am not ready! At all! I have a Med Math test that I HAVE to make a 100 on, so prayers would be great!

The end.

Fiance is the best artist!

I love this plaid dress! It has pockets!



This one looks like those blue and white china plates!



Plaid  dress and my Mad Men style sheath dress! <3

love + growth

Nathan and I had an "old date". This meant meeting in Commerce, getting dinner, paroosing for books and shopping the outlet mall, and getting coffee and talking for hours, like we did when we were just starting to date and our love was just a little bud waiting to bloom!

It was my favorite night. Well, so far for this year. Yes, even better than my engagement night. See, I cherish and love the night of my engagement. I didn't know it was going to happen and he asked me to be his wife forever, but! Tonight. We talked so long about happy and wonderful things and about our growth in God and spirituality and how we want to raise our children and our ideals and how we want to learn from our parents and still be in love with each other even when we are 95 and date each other and surprise each other. We talked a lot about God. We both are going to read a lot and hold each other accountable of things. I fell deeper in love with this intelligent, spiritual, God fearing and convicted man tonight. His want to do everything "right" helps me with my growth, and if we have each others' backs we will do wonderfully.

I was listening to Chris Rice today (as I do often) and one line struck me and it hit home very much. In the song "Prone to Wander" he says "Freedom from myself will be the sweetest rest I've ever known". It's so true. I am my own worst enemy, and once I have this freedom, I will be able to be happy and carefree. Today was one of those days, and I was truly happy an enjoyed every second I was with Nathan. Not a worry crossed my mind and we didn't speak about wedding plans! It was a genuine date, one where we could enjoy each other and talk and laugh and take the stress away.

I am in love.
With God and Nathan and where my life and relationships and outlooks on life are going.

Thank you thank you thank you, God.

climbing

I'm still working towards my goal of a stress-free, worry-free, confident me!

I found another verse today that really made me smile and gave me a great comfort:

"When I felt secure, I said, "I will never be shaken."" - Psalm 30:6

It just gives me more of a reason to find my peace. Once I find it, and feel secure, I will never be shaken again. I just need to get there. Sometimes it feels like fighting a battle that I will never win, but lately things have been a lot easier. If I have a bad moment, I pray or read or think about something else, and it seems to melt away. Today I was genuinely happy! I was reading and researching couples bible studies and devotionals (which Nathan and I both want to get into), and a really cool bible for engaged couples that I super want, and I printed out a little preview of Beth Moore's "So long insecurity" devotional/journal. I read a lot today, and it really helped. It always seems that when I hit a low place my heart knows that I need to get closer to God. When I come back to Him, my life is 100% better.

So why do we stray? It's like when things get better and start going awesome, we take it for granted, EVERY time. It makes me sad. I really want Nathan and I to establish a necessary, awesome relationship with God and base all of our decisions and our marriage off of him. I am going to super stay on this path and really try to keep it that way. I like being happy, and talking with Nathan and praying and learning about God makes me really, really happy.

Here's to becoming a better, stronger, more confident, loving woman!

Phillipians 4:6-9

This is giving me some peace today:

⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹ Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

And closer and closer I need to be to pour my heart out to Him and him.

happenings

I haven't written lately! I know. I'm horrible! And so much has happened!
We booked the venue AND a photographer!
His name is John Shim, and this is his website: http://www.johnshim.com/
He's very talented and we are so happy that he is going to be shooting our wedding!

I have been super falling more and more in love with my fiance! It still feels amazing and awesome to say that! We have had crazy days lately. Just a lot of going and going and not much time for relaxing! We went crafting and got supplies to make bunting and went antiquing some more and he found some real cool suspenders this weekend that he is going to wear to the wedding!

We went to North Carolina to see his Poppy (mine too now I guess!) this weekend. Friday we went and finalized some stuff with our venue, which we were pleasantly surprised that it had been expanded for the same price that we paid for when it was smaller, then Saturday we drove up and spent the day walking and holding hands and spending time with family and eating way too much food. We went antiquing in Greensboro and got some delicious chai tea at a cool coffee shop where Santa was drawing pictures, found some cool stuff for Nathan, but not so much for me, but it's ok :) Today we went to church and ate more tons of good food and I am stuffed! We stopped at another antique store in Lavonia that was incredible, but we didn't have enough time to look at everything in there! It was humongous! Then we went and ate pizza and talked about married life and what we want and got some scratch off lotto tickets (I won 2 free tickets!) and laughed a lot :) We also locked my keys in the car this morning after church... but all ended up well with only a few bad words said. (Just kidding)

I started a new job at the school! It doesn't pay awesome, but the schedule is great and anything is better than nothing! Most of that money is going to go towards the wedding! I just want to get married right now. I love Nathan so much. He's the sweetest! The other day I was having a bad day (it happens...I'm a girl) and he kept calling me his cinnanom bun. Yes, cinnanom. So when he came over to see me he brought me some cinnamon doughnuts from Krispy Kreme :) He's wonderful! And I need to snatch him up quick and for forever!

I need to start working on my nursing stuff since I go back in less than a month... Oh man. Am I looking forward to it? Yes... and no. It was stressful and wonderful and I learned a lot, but it strained a lot. I lost social time, free time, fiance (then boyfriend!) time, and sleep. I lost a lot of sleep. But, I am looking forward to learning more and edging closer and closer to my degree. I need prayers!

G'night!

pretty walk at Poppy's house

venue!

suspenders!

expanded venue!

whirlwind!

Life since getting engaged to my best friend life has been crazy busy!

We both have realized how expensive weddings are and how easily the cost can add up. However, we have found a beautiful venue :) We are getting married next October at Densmore Farms in Cleveland, GA. It's BEAUTIFUL! The barn is amazing and totally DIY, the areas surrounding it is beautiful with trails... we love it! I have been on the search for the perfect photographer.

If there is any one thing that I want to spend money on, it's a good photographer. After it's all said and done, that is the only real evidence that we will have of that day (besides us and our wedding rings)! I found a fantastic cinematographer and someone to do makeup AND my dress. Oh, I wish I could describe it, but my husband to be will read and will know and we can't have that. :)

I'm ENGAGED

I never thought I'd say it! Ever!

Nathan asked me to marry him! I am the happiest woman in the world, and I'm still in shock. It feels like a dream.

It's not the typical story where the man goes out and gets flowers and takes her out to dinner and says sweet nothings in her ear and then asks her to be with him forever.

Mine was different.

Nathan came over after working all day, and we were both tired and I was slightly irritable. We went to the mall to pick up his tux for his friend's wedding this Sunday. It was more than he expected, and he was in a foul mood after that. After we got back home to my house, we sat on the couch and broke down in tears. Both of us. I had started to give up on the thought of being engaged based solely on the fact that we don't have enough money to live together after the fact. Nathan felt awful, and I felt awful and we cried and cried. I told him I wanted nothing more than to marry him, but I just didn't see it happening anytime soon because of our situation. I told him we could go to the courthouse and get married and that I didn't need special. He told me that he didn't want that for me. He wanted to see me walk down an aisle in a dress and be his wife. We cried and cried.

Finally, we were both spent from crying, hugged and said I love you'd and he left. About 2 minutes later, I heard someone unlocking the door. I thought maybe he forgot something, and I guess in a way he did.

He came in and got on the floor. Both knees, mind you, and crying, asked me if I would marry him. I couldn't even think straight. I just started crying. I couldn't breathe! All I saw was this amazing man that I loved holding a gorgeous ring, all for me. I said yes.

The rest of the night involved calling parents and grandparents and informing everyone on Facebook.

It still feels like a dream. I'm his FIANCÉ. I'm going to be his WIFE. He picked me and I picked him. We are going to be forever together. Family.

I am beyond words as to how I feel. I hear Nathan call me his fiancé and I smile so big it hurts my cheeks. I look at the beautiful ring on my finger and think about how much he must have saved up and for how long. How long he must have known that he wanted to marry me, and I smile huge again.

Even though it wasn't an engagement like in the movies, I couldn't have asked for a better one. After seeing me angry, and bare faced, and unkempt with bloodshot, soaked eyes, he asked me to spend the rest of my life with him. In that raw, vulnerable state, he saw me for me at one of my worst times, and he still wanted me. He didn't even wait a day after picking that ring up. He wanted me to be his, and he didn't hesitate.

Knowing that makes me love him more than any kind of wedding could ever symbolize. But we can sure try.

In a little more than a year, I will be Mrs. Nathan O'Brien, and God couldn't have blessed me with a better man to spend the rest of my days with.

the best day ever!

I was going to put the Spongebob song on here, but decided against it, as it's annoying.

But seriously. Yesterday.

Yesterday kind of ended up being more of a trial run of a day in married life... and I loved every minute of it.

I woke up super early, called Nathan and we made plans to go to church! I hadn't been in a long time, and we kept talking about going together. I love Andy Stanley, and in Athens there is a "satellite" church where he basically preaches through a live feed. We went there, held hands and sang and listened together, and we decided we were going to do it every Sunday! It was great! Going to church and having God in our lives is a huge deal to both of us, so it's comforting having that AND enjoying ourselves.

We went grocery shopping, and ate lunch together and ate cupcakes (I HAVE GOT TO GET BACK ON MY DIET TODAY!) and cuddled and told each other how much we loved each other. By this point it was only like 2:30 and I was having the best day in the entire world. Then, Nathan was really awesome. I mean, really.

I had to do online Spanish work (which is extremely hard considering that I don't remember very much from Spanish 1 since I took it in a month like 2 years ago...) and while I was doing that, Nathan cleaned my entire house and my car. And when I say cleaned, I mean CLEAN. Everything was off of the floor, my laundry was done, my car was cleaned out and he organized my myriad of nursing books and makeup and everything else that made a home in there. He put a shelf up in my bathroom for towels, put a picture frame up, cleaned my counters in my bathroom, organized everything. I mean... forget flowers and chocolate, this man has my heart. I couldn't believe it! I felt awful because everything was so messy (I can let things get pretty bad before I feel inclined to pick up a mess). He told me not to worry about it and that he liked to do it and that he loved me. And then I melted and decided that he was my forever boyfriend and I love him. (I knew that already, but this mega sealed the deal)

Then we cuddled some more and talked a lot about how the day was kind of like being married and we both liked that while we were doing separate things, we were still together, and that was all we needed. It made me feel better that we don't always have to be "doing" something and still be together. It was wonderful. We both got what we needed to get done done, and I still got to kiss my best friend a whole lot. Perfecto.

I never want him to leave, so I don't like to write about those parts, but after he left I slept the best sleep I have slept in a long, long time. A super long time! And with a wonderful day like that, it couldn't have been anymore perfect.


Also, more Pinterest stuff. And cupcakes.

psuedo-anniversary

It's Nathan's and my one-year-and-four-month anniversary today, and I am ever the most thankful to God for him more and more as these little milestones come and go. He's the best, sweetest, caring, amazing, loving man ever. This song that I posted last time means so much. I love it, and it completely embodies what he does to me!

He wants to sing it together and that scares the everything out of me! But I promised I'd at least hum it today, so I guess I'll give it a try. I just hate to hear myself sing! Unlike my wonderful songbird boyfriend, I am not musically gifted. At least not in the ways that I would like! Everyone in my family is musically talented. My dad, mother, and brother can all play guitar and sing. I cannot. I can play 4 notes on a ukulele. That's all! I guess you have to start somewhere :)

I have no idea what we are doing today, but I love him and I will love everything we will do, even if it's just walking around downtown or relaxing around the house! We were talking about weddings last night (and every time we say we won't, we do!) and Nathan wants the fox invites:

Other things on Pinterest that suit my fancy:

I just noticed that I tend to color coordinate even if it's by accident.

Cheers!

knights

Yesterday Nathan, my brother, my mom, and myself indulged in the Renaissance fair in Atlanta. It was so fun! I had been the year before with my brother, but it was better with everyone :) I ate a giant turkey leg and funnel cake straws and a deep fried Oreo! Nate got knighted and got real good at archery, my brother got an ocarina, my mom got a souvenir shirt, and I got a little head crown flower thing that Nate picked out and a little flag from the joust... jousting? I dunno, but it was fun despite my sunburn and perpetual full belly.

I weighed today and I'm down to 128! Crazy considering my goal was 135. Now it's 125, and I'm almost there! It's bizarre that I can't eat how I used to anymore. The sheer amount of food that I ate was... American. I loved every bit of it! Food is wonderful, and it's taken me a LONG time to learn that you can indulge in small quantities. It was just hard to retrain myself after 25 years of eating tons and tons of food.

Anyway, then Nate and I drove home and talked about everything ever pretty much. The day before yesterday was a rough one after a misunderstanding, and being able to understand one another yesterday made me happy. I have learned what a wonderful person Nathan is. I mean, I already knew, but things he told me that he didn't have to solidifies that and really helps me get over my trust hump that I can't seem to fully get over. (I have been cursed with not being able to trust a soul with my heart and it's taking time to try to not live that way!) We talked about family, God, marriage, morals, values... everything. It made me cry, in a good way. Then I got home and Nathan told me to check my mail. He had written me a letter that made me super cry again, in a good way.

I am so blessed to have him and I never ever want to be without him. He is my best friend and my heart and I can't thank God enough for placing us together. I love him.
I love him.
I love him.
I love him.
I love him.

this makes me the happiest girl in the world

No more traveling :)

God has answered my prayers! It may have taken a year, but it happened! After all the tears and worrying, God was taking care of us this whole time.

the happiest

Well, I had a busy day!

No sleep (because of Tango...) and then I went on a cleaning rampage to eradicate these little flea bastardos that have been inhabiting on my couch and my cat. I sprayed all the baseboards, and bombed the house and washed and vacuumed everywhere with flea powder. I am PRAYING so hard that I have finally killed these things.

After that I went to the gym and realized how out of shape I am, and then Nate came over and we made stuffed peppers, and went to Menchies and cuddled and just hung out at home and sang and laughed and it was the most perfect. I love nights like this one. Just being with him makes me realize what a lucky soul I am to have a wonderful man like Nathan. He's selfless and wonderful and just does his best to make me happy, and I try to do the same for him, but wow. He knocks it out of the park! He's just the sweetest and I love nothing more than looking at him and just taking it all in while we are just relaxing.

He's got my heart!

rough days

I can't wait for school to be over.

I super enjoy my mental health clinicals... for the most part. The hardest thing is watching children- KIDS- talking about sexual abuse that they have endured, and acting out, and trying to kill themselves, and just messing up their lives, and other people ruining them... It's just hard. That on top of 3 tests this week, numerous projects, and no time, my nerves are pretty much shot. Thank goodness for my hero of a boyfriend. We are going on a mountain date! Those are the best dates. I get to breathe in the fresh air, drink coffee, play mancala, listen to Nathan play guitar, people watch, and just take it all in. I can't wait to live in the mountains someday!

It's seriously the best. Mountains, the one I love, and peace :) I couldn't think of a more perfect place! Rain or shine :) I love it I love it I love it!

God, please get me through this week!
And prayers are welcomed for my upcoming Med Surg and 2 OB tests this week. Thanks!

easter and birthdays

Happy Easter!

It's a blessed day! I am so happy that I have what I have and am so thankful to God for it :)

Today is also my sweetest Nathan's birthday, but we celebrated Friday! We went to NONA and I gave him presents and we cuddled and watched our trash TV and told each other how much we love each other and and and... it was the best :)

I just love him so much! I want to hurry up and get married and move into the mountains and live a super chill, peaceful life.

I am so blessed and I can't express that enough!

best weekend!

This weekend I went home with Nathan to see my mom and my brother! It's been a long time since we both got to go home, so it was wonderful! We went to Longhorn and ate the best food, and played music and drew on our old etch-a-sketch that we found (some of us were better than others...) which super made us laugh, and then on Saturday I adopted a kitten!

Pardon my hair, but meet Tango!

He's such a little love bunny (kitten)! He's the sweetest! Well, except for when we were trying to leave and he got under the bed and INTO the box spring... needless to say we were a little late to drive an hour and a half to Nate's house to eat dinner! I think he's a little jealous of Tango... but tonight he loved all over him. He'll get used to it ;)

We stayed up at Nate's house until like, one in the morning. I am far too old for that, and Nate would agree. But we had fun eating burritos and talking a lot about family and things with his mom (while Tango was sleeping on our laps... did I mention how wonderful he is?).

Then Sunday I got up early and cleaned my room so Tango wouldn't get lost in my disarray, and took a nap with Tango in my armpit, and then Nathan came over and we explored downtown Athens. I super love doing that now! I don't know why, but I used to hesitate to explore downtown. I just wasn't into it. But I love just having my boyfriend on my arm and no ideas in our head to where we are going, and we just wing it! They are the best dates! We were both super hungry so we went to the Transmetropolitan, which Nate had been to before, but I hadn't. I got some pasta that was AMAZING, and he got a chicken panini that looked pretty great too. I think we are going to try somewhere new next time we go downtown.

We had a super long talk about ex's and things... it wasn't a terrible conversation, and it definitely wasn't heated or anything. I don't really even remember what got us talking about it, but it was kind of enlightening. It definitely made me realize again how lucky I am to have met Nathan after praying and praying and praying for God to send me the right man for my heart! I take these things for granted sometimes, and just talking about our pasts made me realize how much we both have grown; even in the past year of knowing each other. I am especially proud of Nathan. He seems to have grown into a super wonderful man in the past year. He's becoming more sure of himself, putting priorities in order, etc. I like to think that I helped with that, but that's being cocky ;)

Seriously though, it was an overall good talk. I think a lot of my growth happened over the two years from 2009 to the end of 2010. I had a lot of loss in 2008 and kind of lost my mind. Getting back into church and solidifying my faith in God made ALL of the difference in my life. I knew that I couldn't get anywhere good without giving it all to God. My faith never really faded or was lost; it was just realizing what exactly being a woman of Christ meant. I had a friend bring me to the door, and I went through, and after prayers and not thinking about finding someone for awhile, God led me to the right one through a very unlikely door. And I am ever so grateful for it.

Also, notice that it is 2:00 a.m. and I have to be at a clinical at 6:30. My roommate's cat has a bell on her collar (DUMB... she doesn't even go outside. What the heck do you need that for?) and she came prancing in my room to get Tango and woke us up. Tango has no problem falling back asleep. I on the other hand...

ANYWAY, then Nathan and I went home after paroosing downtown and drinking some Starbucks and watching hipsters and cuddled with Tango and did some Mad Libs which made me realize how much the "S" word makes me giggle when used as an adjective. Seriously, I try not to cuss (or curse), but that word is just so funny when used in certain sentences.I need a big ol' giant book of those so that I can belly laugh all the day long instead of studying for Psych or Med-Surg. When am I going to be done with school?! Guh.

So, it was the best weekend I have had in a long while. ALSO, I WEIGH 136! I'm still not happy. I'm so dumb. I remember when I weighed like 150 and I said, man, I really wish that I weighed 135. I'd be so happy! But, I'm a pound away and am really hoping for more of 125. Being a woman blows. Good thing I have a supportive boyfriend who thinks that I'm pretty no matter what I say about myself. What a gentleman!

Oh, and I'm making a bucket list of sorts on Pinterest since everyone else is and I think it's kind of cool.

Long post is over. I have to cuddle with Tango and try to sleep for 3 hours or something.

wait, it's superbowl sunday?

I don't know, I didn't even watch any of it. Today was spent with me going to bed at 9 in the morning, taking a 4 hour nap, watching some Law and Order (there was a marathon!), and then driving over to Nate's house so we could go from there and see his grandmother. I am trying to become a better, more spiritually fulfilled person, especially in my relationship with Nathan. I feel like if we are (spiritually whole) we will have the best foundation for a super awesome relationship. I instantly feel better, and it gives me the drive to do better and be happier and have faith and trust just by taking the smallest initiative to educate and read and get closer to God. Today was a perfect day weather-wise, and I drove with the windows down and the 70 degree wind blowing in my hair and taking in everything. It's bizarre how I notice so little most of the time. I drove by the prettiest pastures, and saw an old couple holding hands on their porch, and the sun was reflecting off the water, and animals were grazing in the sun, and I just wanted to BE in that moment forever. No worries, no responsibilities... just carefree driving with my arm hanging out of the window and singing praise at the top of my lungs. Sweetest bliss.

Nathan and I got to go see his grandparents and listened to stories about how they had to kill their own chickens if they wanted to eat, and his grandfather told us a story about when his wife (Nathan's grandma) had a mastectomy, he wanted to get her something nice. So he went and got her a gold ring and said that he married her once, and he wanted to marry her all over again ("or something sweet along those lines" he said). That is just THE BEST. I want that.

We finished the evening with spaghetti and garlic bread and a fat salad, and laughing, and cuddling, and talking. The best. The best. The best.

P.S: Boyfriend says we are going somewhere for Valentine's Day weekend. It's a surprise, so I have no idea where, but I am so excited!

thoughts and love and things

Life as an adult is HARD.

What I wouldn't give to be a kid again with forever summers and no responsibilities and free food and housing, unlimited time with your friends, a bountiful imagination, a certain naivety that escapes us as we grow up, and zero stress. I wouldn't give up my sweetest boyfriend and best friend, Nathan, and I wouldn't give up my maturity and experience... but all of the kids stuff would be fantastic. I think about being a kid and it makes me want to cry because I will never have that EVER again. I probably spend an abnormally long amount of time thinking about when I was little, before tons of bad things happened in my life and the lives of others around me. Playing until it got dark, coloring, making up stories, having tea parties, playing hide and seek, super nintendo, and recording your favorite songs on TAPE off of the RADIO. And then, I think about how stupid I was when I was little and I couldn't wait to grow up.

Now, I am adult. I have school, hours upon hours of studying and less and less of sleep, stress coming from all directions, money worries, job worries, relationship strain, spiritual crises! Oh, the joys of being an adult. I can't complain though. I have learned a lot. I value so much in my life. I love my family, my friends that I meet everyday, my boyfriend, how much I've grown spiritually... All of this because I grew up.

I'm still super immature in some areas though... but that can't be helped. Right now I should be making more drug cards for OB, and studying for an OB test, and looking at GA legislative stuff regarding nursing, but here I am listening to Law and Order and blogging. Some things never change :)

Boyfriend and I had an awesome mountain date in the gloominess on Sunday. We went to a really cool antique store in Sautee, and went to the Sweetwater Coffeehouse and Nate got me a brownie that was mega super awesome, and we had chai teas and we played mancala and mushed and went to this other place in Helen but I can't remember the name and we got wings and listened to drunk people yell about football and came back home and cuddled and looked at wedding venues even though we aren't even engaged. But it was the best! I LOVE the mountain dates. LOVE them. I love the drive because I get to hold hands with Nate and sing and laugh and talk about everything under the sun. He's my best friend, and I'm so glad that he's mine!

I started my first OB clinical today! I got to feel the fundus of a postpartum patient and a patient at 20 weeks, I got to administer medication and give a Tdap shot, remove an INT, assess a postpartum patient, and I got to let a lady hear her fetal heartbeat with the doppler! It was an amazing day and further reaffirmed why I am busting my butt and crying and stressing over school. I will LOVE being a nurse!

I am so thankful for everything that I have in my life and how things have turned out. I remember being so stressed to get INTO nursing school, and now I have a semester under my belt and only 3 more to go until I am BSN Wilson. I got the externship at the hospital on the medical floor for the summer! I am SO nervous/excited. It will be a learning experience for sure!

Ok, I am going to go to bed I think. I have to be at the hospital at 6:30 tomorrow!

getting back

I've prayed a lot lately, and I've reached a bit of peace that I haven't had in awhile. Things are looking up!

Nathan is gone for a few days for work. It makes me so sad to see him go. I just love him so much! But, I'll keep busy while he's gone. I'm going to go to my first spin class Friday (gulp) and study for nursing school. I have been researching how to make jewelry. Silver jewelry. I am obsessed. Which of course that means that my manic behavior is kicking in and I'm going to want to try and make something. It's cheaper than photography, and it will keep me busy, and if I get good at it, maybe people will want them :)

I'm so thankful for everything in my life right now. Nathan and I are celebrating a year together next month! It might not seem like a big deal, but it's a big deal to me, and just wonderful all the same. It's bizarre how time flies... and sometimes drags. Nursing school has put my life in fast forward since the beginning, which is good and bad. I don't want to be 26 in August (I just had a mini-breakdown after reading that), but I am looking forward to more time with my Nathan and the dwindling down of my nursing student career! I interviewed at a hospital today for a Summer internship... I pray that I get it! If not, God will have me do something else, so I'm not worried about it.

Cheers!

Thanksgiving.

I am SO incredibly thankful for tons of things.

I'm thankful for how God is working in my life, and even though I am not perfect, He blesses me and teaches me something everyday. I'm thankful for my wonderful family, no matter how crazy they are. I'm the most thankful for my wonderful boyfriend Nathan, who I appreciate more and more everyday and I am so blessed to have him to love. I'm thankful for my job and my coworkers (even if they drive me nuts sometimes), my grades in school, getting INTO nursing school and STAYING in, my upcoming trip with my family and my love to Long Island in December, my home that stays pretty messy because I'm busy/lazy, pinterest, the energy to handle a part-time job and full-time school and a full-time relationship, neighbors that are relatively quiet most of the time, seasonal coffees from Starbucks, all of my friends (who all seem to be getting married and having babies), and my health. I'm so thankful for EVERYTHING that I have, and I thank God for many things every night.

Nathan is one of those many "things". I have written on and on about him, but I just love him so much. I think about us often, about how we came to be and how there were a few times when I was sure that we wouldn't be (in the beginning). It really brings to light that "everything happens for a reason" thing. I waited for about 2 years for God to bless me with someone, and sure enough, he sent me Nate. It's been 9 months since we met and I am so happy! I feel like I've known him forever and ever. I'm comfortable and in love and he still makes me get butterflies in my belly. I am just the most thankful ever for him.


Tomorrow I get to have Thanksgiving with Nathan and his family and extended family and maybe ride a horse. I'm excited!

it's almost the end...

of my first semester of nursing school! After much stressing (there's still a lot of that to come, I'm sure), I can safely and confidently say that I am going into my finals with all B's and I hope that I'll be able to keep them :) I owe it all to God and the thoughts and prayers from my friends.

My new job is going pretty good, although I wish they would give me less hours, but again, I should be thankful that I have one in the first place.

I have found my perfect engagement ring. Nathan says it's too much money. I don't think so, but I guess I'm not the one buying it eh?
It looks like this:

Plain and simple and beautiful.

, except for the stone isn't that big and it's like $3,000. Yes Puh-leeze.

Also, I'm sick. Fever, chills, runny nose, stuffy nose, sore nose ;(

I can't wait for Thanksgiving.