Growing Older

I enjoy my time home visiting family as I always have.

However, after growing older and closer to having my own life with a future husband, I have found that things aren't as they used to be. Not necessarily in a bad way, but I notice now that when I come home not everything is smooth and easy. My family and I disagree. See, it's not a parent-child relationship really anymore. It's 2-4 adults trying to make decisions and share things and like any four adults, not everything is going to be agreed on. I find myself longing to be with my fiancé and less with family, mostly because since we have grown, we have grown in different directions of things that we like, are tolerant of, political opinions, and habits. I will always love being at home, but I am glad that I have finally crossed the threshold of craving the home that I will have with my husband more. I know a lot of people don't get to that point and revel in the past, and I did. I used to love to come home and be taken care of and not worry. But now I love my time with my fiancé and doing work and talking with my best friend (fiancé).

We have both been through a lot this Thanksgiving with family. I think we both are coming to terms with the fact that our families are flawed and nothing is perfect, which is fine and kind of refreshing. It allows us to speak our minds and stand up for each other and ourselves without feeling like we are being disrespectful, as we are adults speaking to adults. It's something that won't happen overnight, but it will happen, and we are going to make it together!

I have to say that I am so proud of Nathan. He is such a wonderful man and is growing everyday. I am proud to call him mine. He's honest and sweet and more than I have ever had in a partner. The one thing that I really want is to grow more and more in Christ. I have been feeling the void and an increase in stress and I know a big part of it is not going to church every Sunday or at least not being involved everyday. I pray everyday and every night. I am SO thankful for my fiancé and my family and my life and my schooling and my job and my Tangobutt and I want God to know that I am grateful for that. I want to live for HIM and be a better woman for myself and for Nathan and for God. It's something that I truly have to work on, and it's getting there.