thoughts and love and things

Life as an adult is HARD.

What I wouldn't give to be a kid again with forever summers and no responsibilities and free food and housing, unlimited time with your friends, a bountiful imagination, a certain naivety that escapes us as we grow up, and zero stress. I wouldn't give up my sweetest boyfriend and best friend, Nathan, and I wouldn't give up my maturity and experience... but all of the kids stuff would be fantastic. I think about being a kid and it makes me want to cry because I will never have that EVER again. I probably spend an abnormally long amount of time thinking about when I was little, before tons of bad things happened in my life and the lives of others around me. Playing until it got dark, coloring, making up stories, having tea parties, playing hide and seek, super nintendo, and recording your favorite songs on TAPE off of the RADIO. And then, I think about how stupid I was when I was little and I couldn't wait to grow up.

Now, I am adult. I have school, hours upon hours of studying and less and less of sleep, stress coming from all directions, money worries, job worries, relationship strain, spiritual crises! Oh, the joys of being an adult. I can't complain though. I have learned a lot. I value so much in my life. I love my family, my friends that I meet everyday, my boyfriend, how much I've grown spiritually... All of this because I grew up.

I'm still super immature in some areas though... but that can't be helped. Right now I should be making more drug cards for OB, and studying for an OB test, and looking at GA legislative stuff regarding nursing, but here I am listening to Law and Order and blogging. Some things never change :)

Boyfriend and I had an awesome mountain date in the gloominess on Sunday. We went to a really cool antique store in Sautee, and went to the Sweetwater Coffeehouse and Nate got me a brownie that was mega super awesome, and we had chai teas and we played mancala and mushed and went to this other place in Helen but I can't remember the name and we got wings and listened to drunk people yell about football and came back home and cuddled and looked at wedding venues even though we aren't even engaged. But it was the best! I LOVE the mountain dates. LOVE them. I love the drive because I get to hold hands with Nate and sing and laugh and talk about everything under the sun. He's my best friend, and I'm so glad that he's mine!

I started my first OB clinical today! I got to feel the fundus of a postpartum patient and a patient at 20 weeks, I got to administer medication and give a Tdap shot, remove an INT, assess a postpartum patient, and I got to let a lady hear her fetal heartbeat with the doppler! It was an amazing day and further reaffirmed why I am busting my butt and crying and stressing over school. I will LOVE being a nurse!

I am so thankful for everything that I have in my life and how things have turned out. I remember being so stressed to get INTO nursing school, and now I have a semester under my belt and only 3 more to go until I am BSN Wilson. I got the externship at the hospital on the medical floor for the summer! I am SO nervous/excited. It will be a learning experience for sure!

Ok, I am going to go to bed I think. I have to be at the hospital at 6:30 tomorrow!