captivating

I have to be up in a few hours to "work" another LONG OB clinical and I can't sleep! Fantastic!

I can't sleep because I can't stop thinking about lots of things. Mostly good, awesome things. I am starting to read Captivating again, which is a super awesome book that reminds me of all the awesome ways that God is good to me. I got an email saying that my jewelry stuff got sent, so I am SUPER stoked about having something to work on. Nathan got me a little anvil to work on! Words cannot describe... he's just the best man I have ever known. I have work and a couple of tests this week that are stressing me out, but I'll make it work. I just want to be done with school so I can work in a hospital with new moms and babies and be happy. It's getting closer and closer to becoming a reality! Prayers and thank yous.

hobbies: yes please

I have been under an immense amount of stress lately. School, job issues, lack of boyfriend time, zits like I'm 13, roommate issues, family issues, and a general lack of time and sleep have all taken their toll on my general sense of well-being. I have toyed with the idea of starting a new hobby for awhile now, and I have been researching jewelry making. More specifically, silver ring making. Photography is fun, and I will always love it, but it takes a lot more time than I usually have, and the editing stresses me out more than it should. For funsies it's wonderful. For people, it's stressful, and that's what I'm trying to get away from, right?! So, onto silver ring making. I bought basic things. A ring mandrel, a soldering block, a mallet, various tools and tweezers, pickling solution, solder, a torch (which is probably the coolest thing ever), a dremel, and of course, silver. I am super excited to try this! (not really try... I'm GOING to make this work!) It helps to have an encouraging boyfriend, who is probably encouraging just so he doesn't have to see me cry/mood swing every time I see him... the poor man. But I am SO excited! I should get everything in a week or so and then I will begin :) I'm not trying for anything elaborate.. yet. Just basic silver bands, and then I'll grow from there! Setting stones would be wonderful, and engraving, and custom things, and an etsy shop would make me so happy! But that's far, far, far in the future, if it happens. For now, it is to make me happy again in between the stressful bits of adult life. Hopefully keeping my hands busy and playing with fire will help me out a lot. If anyone wants a ring when I get to making them, let me know, because I need practice!

Well, that's it really for now. Well, that and I really miss Nathan. He better wear some of my jewelry even if it's crappy ;)

Nite nite!

antiques are love

I used to hate antiques. I'd always bug my mom and tell her all that "old crap" was ugly. I mean, why would you want that when you can get something new instead?! I swore I would never like any of that. The clothes were ugly, the jewelry was ugly, the furniture was way too "old" looking... and now, I love it. I have become my mother.

I am all over Etsy all the time just looking at everything. Lately I find myself looking at everything vintage or vintage-inspired, and it just appeals to my heart. If it is an "antique" and belonged to someone else, somehow that appeals more to me. That item had a life way before mine, and I think about all of the things that it has "seen". That's someone else's old wedding ring that has seen tons of years of marriage, and someone else's chair that has been through many family dinners, etc. I just LOVE that. I wish I had things of my own that have been in my family for a long time. When we went up to New York this year, my grandma gave me a yellow gold ring with two little opals in it and two itty-bitty diamonds on the side. My grandpa had it made for my grandma when they first got married. That meant so much to me! I hope to pass it on to my daughter or daughter-in-law one day.

thoughts and love and things

Life as an adult is HARD.

What I wouldn't give to be a kid again with forever summers and no responsibilities and free food and housing, unlimited time with your friends, a bountiful imagination, a certain naivety that escapes us as we grow up, and zero stress. I wouldn't give up my sweetest boyfriend and best friend, Nathan, and I wouldn't give up my maturity and experience... but all of the kids stuff would be fantastic. I think about being a kid and it makes me want to cry because I will never have that EVER again. I probably spend an abnormally long amount of time thinking about when I was little, before tons of bad things happened in my life and the lives of others around me. Playing until it got dark, coloring, making up stories, having tea parties, playing hide and seek, super nintendo, and recording your favorite songs on TAPE off of the RADIO. And then, I think about how stupid I was when I was little and I couldn't wait to grow up.

Now, I am adult. I have school, hours upon hours of studying and less and less of sleep, stress coming from all directions, money worries, job worries, relationship strain, spiritual crises! Oh, the joys of being an adult. I can't complain though. I have learned a lot. I value so much in my life. I love my family, my friends that I meet everyday, my boyfriend, how much I've grown spiritually... All of this because I grew up.

I'm still super immature in some areas though... but that can't be helped. Right now I should be making more drug cards for OB, and studying for an OB test, and looking at GA legislative stuff regarding nursing, but here I am listening to Law and Order and blogging. Some things never change :)

Boyfriend and I had an awesome mountain date in the gloominess on Sunday. We went to a really cool antique store in Sautee, and went to the Sweetwater Coffeehouse and Nate got me a brownie that was mega super awesome, and we had chai teas and we played mancala and mushed and went to this other place in Helen but I can't remember the name and we got wings and listened to drunk people yell about football and came back home and cuddled and looked at wedding venues even though we aren't even engaged. But it was the best! I LOVE the mountain dates. LOVE them. I love the drive because I get to hold hands with Nate and sing and laugh and talk about everything under the sun. He's my best friend, and I'm so glad that he's mine!

I started my first OB clinical today! I got to feel the fundus of a postpartum patient and a patient at 20 weeks, I got to administer medication and give a Tdap shot, remove an INT, assess a postpartum patient, and I got to let a lady hear her fetal heartbeat with the doppler! It was an amazing day and further reaffirmed why I am busting my butt and crying and stressing over school. I will LOVE being a nurse!

I am so thankful for everything that I have in my life and how things have turned out. I remember being so stressed to get INTO nursing school, and now I have a semester under my belt and only 3 more to go until I am BSN Wilson. I got the externship at the hospital on the medical floor for the summer! I am SO nervous/excited. It will be a learning experience for sure!

Ok, I am going to go to bed I think. I have to be at the hospital at 6:30 tomorrow!

munchkins

Boyfriend and I had a wonderful night of watching some trashy reality TV, eating donut holes, sushi, laughing at bloopers on TV, and cuddling. The best ever :)

Also, I want to cut my hair into something completely different!

Like, off.

maybe a little longer...

i super like this one! and a little more realistic for me :)

this is cool too!

:)

Spin class kicked my butt - literally. It's so sore! But that's a good thing :)

I just love my Nathan. He's so sweet! He was gone for 4 days, and now he's back, and and and... I just love him :)

My first rotation of clinicals starts next week in OB! I couldn't be more excited (and nervous!).

Here's some stuff I found and am in love with:

Yellow gold bezel set diamond engagement ring!

Mr. Darcy proposal scarf <3

gold ladybug ring from PatrickIrlaJewelry

Champagne diamond :)

LOVE LOVE LOVE rose gold! (from AdziasJewelryAtelier)

For one day when I get married :) (bellesandcrystals)

:)

<3 morganite & rose gold is beautiful! (onegarnetgirl)

morganite again :) (onegarnetgirl)

still my favorite so far! (adzias)

pretty :)

That's all for now :)

getting back

I've prayed a lot lately, and I've reached a bit of peace that I haven't had in awhile. Things are looking up!

Nathan is gone for a few days for work. It makes me so sad to see him go. I just love him so much! But, I'll keep busy while he's gone. I'm going to go to my first spin class Friday (gulp) and study for nursing school. I have been researching how to make jewelry. Silver jewelry. I am obsessed. Which of course that means that my manic behavior is kicking in and I'm going to want to try and make something. It's cheaper than photography, and it will keep me busy, and if I get good at it, maybe people will want them :)

I'm so thankful for everything in my life right now. Nathan and I are celebrating a year together next month! It might not seem like a big deal, but it's a big deal to me, and just wonderful all the same. It's bizarre how time flies... and sometimes drags. Nursing school has put my life in fast forward since the beginning, which is good and bad. I don't want to be 26 in August (I just had a mini-breakdown after reading that), but I am looking forward to more time with my Nathan and the dwindling down of my nursing student career! I interviewed at a hospital today for a Summer internship... I pray that I get it! If not, God will have me do something else, so I'm not worried about it.

Cheers!

Holy

I want to become a holier woman. I think that means less time online looking at things that don't matter and things that make life harder. I need to pray more. I need to read about Him more. I need to go back to where I was when I started this journey a long time ago. Things were better then. Bad days weren't as bad because I KNEW that they would get better and good days were wonderful because I knew they were a gift. It's sad how bad things have to happen for me to come crawling back asking for saving. I just need to stay that way all the time, inward, holy thinking and outward love and forgiveness. It's hard to live like that. I have a lingering weird feeling over me. I don't know what to do in general. I'm kind of sad, but more just "blah".
Not depression blah, but just... I don't know. Life is hard now. Lots of sad, hard things are going on and it seems that less and less happy things are going on. I want everything to be wonderful again. I need to pray and I need prayers and I need time.

home

I love coming home to visit. I get to be with family, play board games, study some, cuddle with the kittens, and go shopping.

I went shopping to spend my little gift card from Christmas at Ulta and bought some new makeup!

Stila's In The Garden palette

Stila's sparkle eyeliner :)

I love it :)

Prayers

I just don't know what to do sometimes. I really have to give it all to God. Before, I was really good at giving everything to God and just knowing that everything would be okay. Everything fell into place. But now, for some reason, it's just so hard. I know the past cannot be fixed or erased from my head, and I'm trying so hard to not let all of this effect my current situations but...

I just need prayers more than anything.

haiku wednesdays

I want to be married
      I don't want to go to school tomorrow
  I need to exercise
or something.

happy new year!

I had a fantastic New Year's Eve. Nathan and I went and hung out with friends and ate tons of good food, laughed a whole lot, drank some Stella's (and champagne!), played games, and I got my kiss at midnight from the man that I love! I couldn't ask for anything better!

I should probably have some new year resolutions I guess. I don't know what I want to do. Save money would be a good one. Make money would also be nice. Seriously though, I'm praying that God will help me through nursing school and that I do well, that I will have minimal stress. I resolve to eat healthier even if it means that I don't lose anymore weight. I resolve to make more time for family. I resolve to spend less time on Pinterest.

That works... for now :)

I keep telling myself to quit looking at "shinies" (engagement rings), but they are just so shiny and pretty and I like to pretend that I'll have one someday! I was on Pinterest (see, this is why I need to get off of there!) and I stumbled upon this beauty:

Now, I thought that I was sold on a clear, sparkling, white diamond. I super fell in love with this "champagne" diamond in this ring. Not necessarily THE ring itself, but the diamond is cool and vintage looking and different. It turns out that there are many different words that people use to describe these varying colors of "tinged" diamonds. Champagne, cognac, chocolate, peach, light pink, orange... etc. So I started looking. I fell in love on Etsy.

by EidelPrecious

Then I started searching in the shop and found this:

It's a sapphire! Beautiful! (also EidelPrecious)

So I said to myself, Okay... can I deal with a sapphire? It's obviously not as hard as diamond, so would I scratch it up? I looked it up and it's a 9 on the hardness scale (where diamond is a 10). I think I can live with that! I never thought that I would fall in love with a sapphire. Bizarre.

Also, Cathy Waterman is my most favorite designer in the world. She's mega vintage, and also mega expensive. I wish she made cheaper things, because this rustic diamond, scalloped pear ring is beautiful.

at ylang23.com

But, my most favorite stone color ever ever ever, is this morganite ring:

Ultra vintage, not too pink, not brown, and I love the double band thing. (Etsy)

Pretty! Pinkish-gold stone.

Ok, no more. ;)