9.30.2011

favorites & campfires

Boyfriend taught me how to make a campfire last night and we (I) roasted marshmallows and he sung songs to me and played his guitar and I threw tons of leaves on the fire because it looked cool (yes, I'm 25 years old). It was fun and I love Nate the most ever ever.

I have a mega important day today, and I have prayed mega hard about it. I am employed officially as of Monday at a pretty cool place. We will see how it goes!

Because I'm getting older, I decided to make a list of my favorite things (I have a couple reasons for doing this, but that is one, and it looks way different than my old one that is hidden away somewhere...).

  • Color: muted colors and really deep jewel-y colors.
  • Flowers: Wildflowers and Calla Lilies
         
  • Everything that has to do with Autumn: Pumpkins, leaves, oranges, mustard yellow, deep reds, cool weather, campfires (and the smell), corn mazes, stews, sweaters, boots, jeans, flannel, marshmallows, stuffing...
  • Candy: Mounds (Almond Joy), Starburst, Twizzlers
  • Snacks: Cheez-its, apples, plums, Funyuns (!)
  • Beer/Wine: Stella, Blanche De Chambly, any sweet, white wines
  • Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks!
  • High heels and wedges :)
  • Scarves
  • Bangs (but I'm scared to cut my hair again)
  • Feathers
  • Silver/white gold/minimalistic jewelry
  • Tights
  • Patterns
  • My boyfriend's beard
  • Big, giant felt hats
  • Headbands
  • Art Nouveau (Alphonse Mucha)
  • Mashed potatoes
  • Writing
  • Photography
  • Thrifting
  • Cheese
That's about all I can think of for now. I'm sure I'll add on as I think of things. Test soon...

9.25.2011

The most perfectly wonderful day

My boyfriend...

He's fantastic! Nate took me on a surprise trip! To the Biltmore Estate in NC! It was the coolest!

We got to tour the humongous house, the gardens, the greenhouse, see monstrous goldfish in the ponds, amazing mountain views, do a wine tasting and a tour of the winery, ate delicious food, got home made ice cream, and I bought some delicious dips and stuff. My boyfriend was just the sweetest! Then we drove home and he showed me his video he made for his grandparents' 50th anniversary and it was adorable. I fell a little more in love with him today :) He leaves tomorrow for work, and I am going to miss him dearly.

He's the best :)

9.20.2011

i hate nursing school.

I have never felt so dumb, low, and so much like a failure in my entire life. I've never cried so much as I have out of desperation in my entire life. Did I make the right choice to come here?

sleep escapes me

I have a big giant check-off in lab tomorrow and I can't sleep.
I mean, I probably could if I got off the internet and quit watching TV and turned the light off... BUT... I can't. I miss my boyfriend and I just want to hug him real hard.
I'm also being a total girl and fantasizing and looking at engagement rings that might look pretty on that special finger and dresses and I want to dye my hair brown again and I want bangs and I want my skin to clear up and I want to be skinny minny and I want a sewing machine to make cute clothes and an easy job and and and and...
I just want my boyfriend home... I said that already... but I do. Still. Yep.

I'm such a sap. I love him a lot. I miss him.
One more day...

9.19.2011

I should be studying, but that's no fun.

I might have a job! I took a drug test today for a pharmaceutical company that will work with me around school. Hopefully it's a done deal and I'll be making money.
Boyfriend is gone on business and this makes me sad and I miss him a lot. I can't wait for him to come back on Wednesday :) It will be sweet.
I don't know why I haven't been shopping at Goodwill. I got some cute stuff there today for like 20 bucks.
I'm exhausted, but I can't sleep because I have to ultimately study for things that I don't want to study for.
I got to take some pictures on Friday with Nate downtown, so I got my photo itch scratched a little bit. I want to take more pictures of people! I want to make this happen.

9.15.2011

omg.

Nate wrote me a song!
omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg.

I am so in love with that boy it's not even funny.
He wrote me a song, and it's not hokey or lame. It's the sweetest thing ever.
It made me happy cry.

Also, it took my mind off of my very important med math test in the morning.
He is my blessing and I am the luckiest to call him mine.

Sleep time.

9.14.2011

Nursing School is so Hard

Seriously. If you or anyone you know has thought of becoming a nurse, tell them not to do it. It makes you cry all the time and your face break out and stomach hurt from stress, and you have no personal life, and they tell you to get organized and you finally do, they throw more stuff at you out of nowhere and you have to make a 74 in the class or you fail, and and and...

I just want to cry. I have been trying so hard and I have gotten C's on the past 2 tests. I can't take it anymore. ;(

9.12.2011

Improvements

Number one thing that I have to improve: Sleep.

For some reason, I can't sleep at night. No matter how exhausted I am from school and other things throughout the day, I can't turn my brain off at night. So, I end up paroosing Pinterest and watching countless episodes of Law and Order in the hopes that it will put me to sleep since I have seen all of them. Since I can't sleep, and I am all over Pinterest, I have found tons of things that I would like to try!

I am trying to lose weight and eat healthier. Nate comes over to the house quite a bit and I have found that I really like to cook. (It's much more enjoyable cooking for 2 than for myself, because when I'm by myself I can just eat whatever). I found tons and tons and tons of recipes on Pinterest that looked delicious and healthy, so I'm going to give it a try!

Before I said that I was getting crafty, and the more that I surf that wonderful ADD-fest website, the more I want a dress form and a sewing machine and a kiln and clay and glaze and furniture to paint, etc. I am working on seeing if someone around here can fire things for me since I can't afford even a little bitty kiln, and Nate's aunt (and mom) both said that I could borrow their sewing machines!

Now, I sound like a mom, which is creepy. I mean, I'm not a mom. I won't be a mom for a long time. However, the older I get and the more I study and stress out, the more I realize that I need an outlet, and I need creative outlets, so I'm going to try and do some new things to keep from going insane!

I had a goodnight tonight just spending time with Nate and his family. I was so comfortable laying with him on the couch indulging in some Spongebob (mature, I know) that I could have passed out! Then as soon as I left and got home, my brain was wired and I couldn't sleep. I'm a mess. OH! I have a job interview tomorrow! Today... whatever. I just hope and pray that it goes well because I need an income if I want to go on more cool dates with my sweetest boyfriend and if I want to eat better (cheap food is the most fattening ever!) and if I want to be crafty. I just want to be done with school and living in a cozy, bitty house and making my own cute clothes and eating good food with Nate. :)

It'll happen one day!

9.11.2011

Remembering Lots of Things

Since it's been ten years today since the tragic falling of the Towers in NYC, everyone has been really thoughtful and thankful for what they have, myself included. Ten years ago today, I was 15 and a sophomore in high school. I don't remember much of what happened that day, but in the days afterward I remember a lot. The reason I don't remember much is because I was at home on the couch recuperating from having my gall bladder taken out and was very much in a morphine induced stupor. I do remember my Dad being home and waking me up and telling me to look at the TV. I saw the smoke and a red tape below the screen saying that the towers had been hit. I was so confused. I just remember my Dad left to get my brother from school and it was a very, very sad day. I am kind of glad that I didn't see the second plane hit the second tower, and I didn't need to to understand the loss and complete vulnerability of that attack. I can't imagine the absolute terror that ran through everyone's minds as they watched that happen. I hope and pray that we won't have to see something like that ever again. It's a sad thing for people to be seriously misled into thinking that terrorism is the answer. I pray that God will keep us safe, and I am very, very blessed with what I have.

To end on a lighter note of remembrance, Nate and I went on a date yesterday. Although impromptu, it was a REAL date. Embracing the coming of Fall, I got dressed up in probably what will be my last real chance to wear a cute strapless summer dress for the season, and met him at Starbucks, where we proceeded to get pumpkin frappuccinos! Then we drove to an antique mall, where we found all kinds of cool things that were way out of our price ranges... except for this amazing Kodak camera from the 50's. It was 19 dollars, and although I haven't gotten it yet, I hid it in a real good spot just in case I wanted it later. I looked online and text my bestie and both said it was a super cool camera. I might just have to go back and get it. Then we went to the soap store (I didn't get anything in there, although everything smelled yum), and the general store in Sautee Village, and I was convinced (okay, so they didn't have to even nudge me...) to buy this expensive farmer's cheese that was probably one of the most delicious things that I have ever had. We went outside and played with the bubble wands and then we went to the Sweetwater Coffeehouse with newly bought cheese and crackers in tow.

This was one of the best parts for me. Nate took me to Sweetwater about 5 months ago on a really cool date. We were pretty new, and I was still shy, and we had iced chai tea and he played guitar and played with pick up sticks (actually I just stuck them in his beard). I remember it because there was a lumberjack man sitting there watching us while Nate was playing guitar and said "I'm just waiting to hear you play her a love song" and I immediately freaked out because we didn't say that "L" word yet.

Fast forward 5 months and many, many "L" words said everyday, we went back and got iced chai teas and Nate played guitar and we ate the expensive cheese and enjoyed each other. It made me so, so happy to do that again with the same man that took me there almost half a year before and be able to love him so much more. We should make it a tradition :)

We left Sweetwater (Nate with a new bumper sticker and a really cool homemade thrown, fired, and glazed mug) and went to a bar in Helen (Bigg Daddies I think...) and got wings (his were better than mine. I wanted to steal them all.) and sat outside in the most perfect weather I have felt in awhile and people watched. After that, we went to a "park" across the street and swung on swings and realized that we were both probably never going to be able to do the monkey bars again and climbed down to a bank and skipped stones on the river. After I skipped one stone the entire time (and Nate was flipping skipping all of them), we walked around Helen and got our pictures taken in a photobooth and shared funnel cake before we drove home with the windows down, smelling all of the camp/bonfires every few miles along the way.

It was one of the best days of my life, and I'm glad I got to share it with my love, Nate. Again, I wanna marry that boy someday :)

9.08.2011

It's September!

Holy cow. Time has flown by! (kind of)

Many things have happened. My mom was in the hospital for heart problems (heart attack, and then possible "heart failure") not once, but twice. It was terrifying realizing the fragility of our lives. I only realize things like that when I am put in that situation. I prayed and prayed. My mom's heart EF factor was at 30% (basically her heart was functioning at 30 percent) which is in heart failure category. My mom is only 51. I cried and prayed and prayed and my boyfriend and his family prayed and prayed. A miracle happened. My mom went in to get her heart checked, and somehow it healed itself to function at 50% (60% is normal)! I am so very blessed!

School is hard. Tests are hard. My patience is worn, and I feel like I haven't slept in days. I should be studying for a pharmacology test that I have tomorrow, but I need some sort of relief. I have a head cold which isn't helping things either, and Nate is gone so I have no one to cuddle up with. :( I think it's time for a nap before I mega study.