Almost 39 Weeks

As I sit here in my living room in the quiet at 6 am, all I can think about is how my life is going to change again for the third time. Tomorrow will be my 39th week pregnant with my third boy, and it brings me peace and a little uneasiness to know he will be here soon. It’s so strange to think that you have two little people that you love so much and that how can you possibly have enough love to spread around. I remember thinking this about having to share my love with Ethan after he was born when I loved Benjamin so much as my first born. I remember thinking “what if I don’t love him as much, or what if I have to give so much more attention to Ethan and Benjamin feels unloved?” I remember crying about these fears. I found out very quickly that a Mother’s heart can somehow stretch that love to all of her babies. I’m not so worried about that this time, because I’ve seen what a sweet young man Benjamin has turned into, and I think he will be a great help with this new babe. Ethan is the typical 2 year old and is crazy upon crazy, so we will see.
This pregnancy has been the hardest for me, physically speaking. I’m the biggest that I’ve ever been, so I’m pretty motivated to lose this weight after he’s here. I’ve got really bad pelvic girdle pain which is sometimes unbearable. The allergies are killing me this season! I’m praying it’s just pregnancy related stuff and that it goes away after I have the baby.
Nathan is working part time at a wood shop, and I’m officially on leave from work, so we will be depending on some of the money that my Dad left me when he passed. In a way it’s a sweet reminder that even though he’s not physically here, he is taking care of us. It’s been hard around here with no family available to help. Nathan and I really want to build a great family base for our children so that we are available and that they WANT to be around us when they’re older. It’d be such a wonderful dream to have family get togethers and holidays surrounded by my boys and their significant others and then eventually, our grandchildren.
Anyway, just some thoughts this morning.
This sweet babe just seems to be super content in my uterus, so if he doesn’t come on his own, his induction date is 5/14. I’m praying for a natural labor because I haven’t had the experience yet, and I feel like this will be my last pregnancy. It’s just been too hard this time to think about another, even though I would take all the babies.
God has a plan, and we will see what it is!