Charlie Isaac is Here!

I wanted to write while all of this whirlwind of a delivery was fresh in my mind. My sweet boy is just over 24 hours old! He was born 5/15/19 at 4:31 AM, weighing a whopping 8lbs and 14oz and some 22 inches long! He had a small pneumothorax just like his oldest brother Benjamin, so he is in the NICU right now, but I was able to hold him this morning (a few hours ago!) very early. He’s a precious little chunk. Even though he’s my biggest, holding his little head in the palm of my hand reminds me of how tiny he still is. A breath of fresh air for me, and a heavy aching of love in my heart to just hold him. He’s precious.

Now for the delivery story...

I don’t know what I was thinking. I think I was trying to prove how tough I was after hearing women accomplishing a natural labor, but I was bound and determined to do it pain medicine free. This meant no epidural, no pain meds of any type. What I forgot to do research on, was what are the odds of making it through a pitocin INDUCED labor naturally. I will say that I was managing very well until I was about 9 cm. 9-10 was a horrific blur of sweating, crying, yelling, and fidgeting that was almost an out of body experience. Never in my life have I ever hurt so bad that I thought that I was literally dying. It felt like someone was slowly breaking my back by kicking me to death. The contractions, as painful as they were, were tolerable even at their worst, because I knew they would peak and end, even if just for a minute. From 9-10 cm I had constant pain and pressure in my back and sacrum that was incredibly unbearable. I was in so much pain that the words that people were saying to me were not making sense. The doctor and nurses telling me to put my legs back towards myself meant nothing to me, and I couldn’t follow directions. I’ve never been out of my element and delirious like that before. Once the undeniable feeling of pushing started, it wouldn’t stop. When I pushed, I felt relief. A sweet bit of relief for a second and then back to untolerable pain. I kept saying that I had to push, and I was met with a sea of “no, wait!” But after 12 hours of unmedicated labor on the max of pitocin being administered, “no” was not an option. I tried to wait while the doctor was called and quickly putting on his sterile gown and gloves. He barely made it to me in time to help me deliver my sweet boy. 3 huge pushes and he was out into the world, with hair (he may be a brunette!)  and covered in cheese. Somehow I didn’t tear (thank goodness).

Poor Nathan was tearing up, watching me beg for medicine, anything for pain. My nurse literally carried me through my labor. She gave me counterpressure, she rubbed my head and my hand, she put me into positions that I didn’t think I was possible to be in. She talked me through it all. She’s a hero. Her name is Kia and I will never forget her.

More about Charlie!

He was covered in “baby cheese” which leads me to believe that he was overdue and that I was right about my due date. Also backing this up is the fact that he had a meconium poop an hour after he was born, which I am such a believer in God’s plan, and I’ll tell you why. If we had waited to induce today (which was an option), he surely would have pooped in the womb, and with his pneumothorax and everything else that happened, he could have been way worse off when he made his entrance.
We are so blessed that even though he had to go to NICU, he’s otherwise incredibly healthy. He’s on some oxygen treatment to help seal the pneumothorax, which on repeat chest X-ray, looks a lot better and is almost resolved. We are repeating one this morning to see if we can take him off oxygen (yay!) and maybe start feeding him (double yay!). I’ve been pumping and bringing my milk (although I’m not making a lot right now) and bringing it to the NICU for him which the nurse used to swan his mouth with so he gets a taste for it. He’s the tiniest little miracle baby, and I know he’s a fighter.

I remember when I got my Mirena removed and we wanted to try again, the doctor said that it could be a year before I got pregnant again. I had slight spotting 2 days later, and then nothing. 3 weeks later I took a pregnancy test and it was positive! I had a lot of bleeding after that though, and was warned that it probably wouldn’t “stick”. It took blood tests and days of stress and prayer and crying to wait for the results that I wanted to hear: we were pregnant! A miracle.

This time was easier to accept that I was having a boy and that I was going to be a boy mom! He was a miracle, and to be honest, I love my boys. I know boys and God has a plan! I believe that mine is to raise sweet boys because I probably couldn’t handle a girl!

Leading up to delivery I had some really rough and painful days. This is the heaviest that I have been, and I think that contributed to that. I’m still super swollen (like all of my pregnancies) so I’m trying to drink more water and have that come off. It’s rough when your feet are like softballs! I have swelling everywhere, so I’m hoping for a lot of that to come off soon and feel better! My stomach/uterus/crotch hurts from all of the cramping and mashing and baby-pushing, but that’s all to be expected.

I’m actually a lot more prepared for this sweet babe I feel like. Since I already sleep on nap cycles, I feel better prepared to wake up and feed and hold this sweet peanut.

I’m super excited to hold my baby, and I’ve got to pump in about 45 minutes, so I’m going to watch some Law and Order and drink up some water!

Praise God for my sweet baby ❤️❤️❤️

Almost 39 Weeks

As I sit here in my living room in the quiet at 6 am, all I can think about is how my life is going to change again for the third time. Tomorrow will be my 39th week pregnant with my third boy, and it brings me peace and a little uneasiness to know he will be here soon. It’s so strange to think that you have two little people that you love so much and that how can you possibly have enough love to spread around. I remember thinking this about having to share my love with Ethan after he was born when I loved Benjamin so much as my first born. I remember thinking “what if I don’t love him as much, or what if I have to give so much more attention to Ethan and Benjamin feels unloved?” I remember crying about these fears. I found out very quickly that a Mother’s heart can somehow stretch that love to all of her babies. I’m not so worried about that this time, because I’ve seen what a sweet young man Benjamin has turned into, and I think he will be a great help with this new babe. Ethan is the typical 2 year old and is crazy upon crazy, so we will see.
This pregnancy has been the hardest for me, physically speaking. I’m the biggest that I’ve ever been, so I’m pretty motivated to lose this weight after he’s here. I’ve got really bad pelvic girdle pain which is sometimes unbearable. The allergies are killing me this season! I’m praying it’s just pregnancy related stuff and that it goes away after I have the baby.
Nathan is working part time at a wood shop, and I’m officially on leave from work, so we will be depending on some of the money that my Dad left me when he passed. In a way it’s a sweet reminder that even though he’s not physically here, he is taking care of us. It’s been hard around here with no family available to help. Nathan and I really want to build a great family base for our children so that we are available and that they WANT to be around us when they’re older. It’d be such a wonderful dream to have family get togethers and holidays surrounded by my boys and their significant others and then eventually, our grandchildren.
Anyway, just some thoughts this morning.
This sweet babe just seems to be super content in my uterus, so if he doesn’t come on his own, his induction date is 5/14. I’m praying for a natural labor because I haven’t had the experience yet, and I feel like this will be my last pregnancy. It’s just been too hard this time to think about another, even though I would take all the babies.
God has a plan, and we will see what it is!