Breastfeeding

So little Ethan is a week old (technically yesterday), and we have survived a week on breastmilk only! This is a small achievement for me. I have to look back at Benjamin's blogs, because I can't remember how long I lasted, but I know it wasn't very long because I got thrush on my nipples (and he had it in his mouth) and then mastitis. After that 103 temp and feeling/looking like I was at death's door, I said "to heck with that!" and went to the bottle. I'm trying really hard this time since I will have the full 12 weeks off to breastfeed exclusively and increase my supply. I also wish I had done a before and after photo from the day we got home until today. Technically not even a week back home and my uterus/belly is way down. That's helpful too. I had some pretty severe swelling when I first got home. I'm getting back to normal!

Also, I read somewhere that you burn 20 calories an ounce of breastmilk, so I am HELLA trying to stick to that to help me lose weight. Plus these lactation smoothies I'm making (thanks Pinterest!) are making me eat more healthy and are full of good fats that are keeping me pretty full. Once I get the go ahead from my Dr. I will start incorporating some neighborhood jogs into the mix (and once baby starts sleeping a little more... sleep deprivation is REAL in the O'Brien house).

Well, I've got to pump in a little bit for Ethan, so I should probably nap!

4 AM Thoughts

Well, parenting is hard. Especially when you have 2 to look after. I don't know how these moms of 4+ do it! (I didn't say 3+ only because I'm crazy enough to want to try it... maybe.) I'm trying really, REALLY hard to breastfeed this time. I made it past the engorgement phase (thank goodness), but now when I nurse Ethan, I get these horrific after-pains. After looking it up, they can vary between painless to labor-like contractions (which the latter  is what I had last night) because oxytocin plays a significant role in shrinking your uterus back down to itty bitty. I love breastfeeding though. It's a struggle to get Ethan to latch, but when it's right it's so relaxing and bonding. And baby gets that milk out so much faster than the pump! 

So as far as physical stuff 6 days after delivery: I'm mushy everywhere. Swelling in my thighs, legs, feet, hands, and face are worse than they were before I had the baby. I hear it will go down soon... I looked 7 months pregnant when I left the hospital, and now maybe 4 months pregnant. I want it to go back to normal please!!! I haven't gotten on the scale yet. I'm giving myself 2 weeks to lose some fluid and get the swing of things before I worry about dieting. I'm hairy. Everywhere hair. I'm sore in my pelvis, my crotch, and my legs. My nipples hurt (lanolin is on the way...). The exhaustion isn't terrible considering I wake up every 2-3 hours a night and stay up all day. My hormones are CRAZY though. Everything makes me cry. I want that to get back to normal (not to mention it might fix my hairiness I have going on right now). My husband is home for 1 more week... and it's stressing me out knowing that I will have to take care of both boys alone for a majority of the day. It's hard dude. 

Everyone has either said going from none to one was the hardest, or going from one to two is the hardest adjustment wise, and I have to agree with the latter. My two year old is so so sweet... most of the time. But when he has a meltdown, it's all over. I don't fault him for that. There's a new baby in the house, plus he's two. So he's going to do it. It's just hard. I love Benjamin to death, and I am finding it hard to split myself between two babies. It's weird how when I came home, my view of Benjamin changed. Seeing this little baby Ethan who is just 8 pounds and then laying eyes on my 30+ pound toddler made me realize that he's growing up so fast... it's scary and sad! I miss him being my baby (although he always will be). It's just a shock to realize how little he was and how much he has grown. It makes me proud and happy and sad at the same time. I told Nathan last night "you realize that this is the youngest and littlest he will ever be?" And it's so crazy! Time flies. If anyone has the secret to slow it down, let me know! 

It's making me reevaluate my job(s). My family is the most important thing to me. I want to see my babies grow up. But at the same time I don't want to burden Nathan with being the sole provider financially for us. I can maybe go back to work as needed, or quit and do photography, or just stay with my babies. Well, the last one isn't really an option right now. We are trying to downsize our house at least money wise, maybe get rid of the Jeep for a cheaper minivan, look at bills and see what we can cut. I want the simple life. I truly do. Nathan said when we retire he wants a cabin the mountains and I can bake pies all day. That sounds amazing, but I want to have more time NOW. I want to spend more time with family and friends and with my babies watching them grow. 

I should be sleeping, but I can't! I have too much on my mind. Looking at this baby in his crib, thinking about the grown baby sleeping in the room across the hall, and hearing my husband sweetly snore next to me, makes me realize how blessed I am. I have 3 boys in my life that are my everything. As soon as I typed that, I had a huge yawn come over me. Maybe it's time to take a nap before Ethan's next feeding. 

Ethan Monroe

We had our baby! I went in for my appointment and was 4cm and 80% effaced (with a borderline blood pressure and protein in my urine) so they sent me to the hospital to have the baby! I was in labor for about 14 hours (most of it with the help of an epidural) and I started hurting really bad around 1:30 in the afternoon. The midwife came in and checked me and said "oh yes! That's a baby right there!" 4 pushes later and he was out! Super quick, and super healthy. It was everything I imagined and wanted for Benjamin's birth (but that sweet thing had other plans for us). I got to cuddle  him and nurse. We are having issues with latching correctly, so I'm trying really hard. I really want to breastfeed this time if I can. Little Ethan Monroe was born on 1/11/17 at 1:57 PM. He's 21.5" long and weighed 8 pounds and 6 ounces. I can only imagine what he would have weighed at his original birthday (1/21). He looks a lot like Benjamin did when he came out, so it will be interesting to see him change! Benjamin came in today to see him for the first time and he pet Ethan's head and that was that. He just played (and pushed the code blue button... not fun) today. I can't wait to go home. I think everyone will do better on a routine, Ethan included! The day before we went to our appointment I was getting Benjamin out of the tub and heard a loud "CRACK" and fell to my knees with an intense pain in my back. Of course we still have the remains of coughing and sneezing, so anytime I did either of those things, I would double over in pain and cry and almost hit the floor. It hurt to cry. So, my midwife called me in some flexeril for me and that barely made it bearable. So, all through labor I was terrified of super straining that same spot, but luckily my midwife convinced me to get the epidural early and I'm glad she did! I had zero pain in my back while pushing! I delivered with no tearing which was amazing. I felt good after delivering! That definitely didn't happen last time. Anyway, I will add pictures later, but he's perfect!

38.5 weeks with Baby #2

How far along? 38.5 weeks!

How big is baby? The size of a winter melon? I don't know. Huge! 

Total weight gain/loss: Like 40 pounds ;(

Maternity clothes? YES! only.

Sleep: What the heck is that? we have been sick for almost 2 solid months now. Between a GI bug and now upper respiratory being passed around, we are all a coughing, snotty mess. My Dr. said it's viral and will just have to go away on it's own! (Side note: never put your kid in daycare while pregnant. You'll get everything they do)

Best moment this week: Finding out my cervix is "very favorable" and I could go anytime! 

Movement: Everyone can see the movement now! He's twisting and turning and just rolling around like he'a slam dancing. 

Food cravings: Basically everything!

Food Aversions: Nah. 

Gender: We are having another boy! :)

Labor Signs: yes yes. Braxton Hicks everyday. 

Pregnancy symptoms: I've got some constipation, very mild swelling in my face and toes and hands (but not NEARLY as bad as with Benjamin! I think I'm moving around more this time). Leaky boobs... Braxton Hicks contractions every once in awhile. Heartburn city, pelvic pain, some GI bleeding due to a colitis flare from the GI bug we got... miserable. 

Belly Button in or out? In.

What I miss: Being able to sleep!

What I am looking forward to: meeting our boy!

Upcoming appointments/events:  Tuesday!

Weekly Wisdom: Avoid daycare in winter, buy a good exercise/birthing ball to work that baby down!

Milestones: Baby is in position! He's low, I'm 3cm dilated and 50% effaced! He's head down and preparing for launch!