Happiness

Somehow I am still awake.

I woke up at 4:00 in the morning and it is now after midnight!
I did my first clinical in NICU today and fell in love.
I want to work with these precious babies!
Things have been better! School is pretty good, my photography has been picking up, and I'm getting actual PAID things! Incredible.
Nathan and I have reached this fantastic level of love. It's a wonderful thing: true love.

Photos

So my photography is one of my best most favorite things in the world right now. I am missing my fiancé (he's on a business trip), so editing and putting my photos up is fun. I have noticed though, that since the Internet can be anonymous, no one has any reservations about making negative comments about anyone's work. It's impersonal, so they don't think about what they say or how it effects that person. Of course, I was pretty hurt after the first few negative comments I received about my lighting or posing, but then I realized, I am not a bad photographer; I know that I am quite good. My style will not be everyone else's style. It's making me have tougher skin, and Nathan is really good about making me feel better. He doesn't want me to give up, which gives me strength. It's hard to get critical non-constructive comments though. Especially about something that you're very excited about and try really hard to master. I know I have a lot to learn; but I have to start somewhere. Tomorrow I have another bridal session. Those are my favorite! It'll be an actual husband/wife shoot, which is exciting!

Also, Nathan comes home.
I want to kiss him and eat 60 munchkin donuts in the bed.

Sunday I have 3 shoots. It'll be a busy weekend. But I am blessed, and thankful, and even during the hard times, I try to remember that God has my heart in his sight and he's got the best coming for me. Even when people are trying to make me upset. God made me a photographer and a nurse and an almost wife and a sister and a daughter and a best friend. He can take me through it all.

Bloop

Things are ok.
Some things are better than others.
Financially, I'm a mess. Prayers for that.
Photography is one of my most favorite things and I'm so lucky to have a fiancé that is eager and willing to help me.
I'm going to miss Nathan terribly while he's gone for almost 3 days.
I need prayers for a better job, for us both, and for more photography business.

Amen.

Love

I am writing this blog from my brand new, shiny ultrabook that was gifted to me by my sweet fiance!

We have 292 days to finish planning this wedding... and tie the knot!

I didn't make any real resolutions for this year. Maybe that's a good thing? But I think I'll set some for myself:
- Put some actual paid photography sessions on my calendar.
- Love myself.
- Let Nathan love me completely.
- Grow closer to God.
- Pray more deliberately.
- Become an honorable wife!
- Graduate nursing school... and find a job.
- Surprise Nathan more.
- Become a better sister & daughter.

These are just some things.
There are things that I WANT to do/have as well:

- Obtain a Canon 85mm 1.8 lens.
- Lose 10 pounds.
- Love more.
- LONG HAIR.

I think this year is my year. I'm going to try and make it that way, anyway.