better days!

The last post was emo. I admit it. I just missed my Nathan, and although I still hate his job, the traveling season is almost over and I hope that I can handle it.

The past few days were fantastic! I got to dress up like a hipster Hogwarts kid (Slytherin, because it's where I belong... with my Snape) and Nate did the same, except he did Gryffindor (which is pretty okay too). We got to hang out with friends and eat delicious food and play games and laugh a lot.

I love him :)

In character...

Sunday we had a lazy day and I tried to carve the Snitch from Harry Potter (it came out kind of okay...) and Nate has an in-progress troll face. Not a real troll face, but an internet troll face. Then we watched Law and Order SVU because that's what I always do, and we laughed and cuddled and mushed and ate and I MADE AN 80 ON MY NURSING TEST. Which pretty much made my whole night (besides being with Nathan, because he always makes all of my nights). *sappiness ahead* The more I spend time with Nathan, the more I realize that I am overwhelmingly in love with him. *end sappiness*

I have approximately one month and a week or so of class left. Let's keep the prayers coming in strong along with those words of encouragement, because I need everything that I can get. I am so thankful for what I have and I need to be more thankful for it. I owe it all to God and the thoughts and prayers from all of my wonderful friends and family. I have the best boyfriend that anyone in this entire world could ever wish for, a super supportive family, wonderful friends, a job, and a wonderful God that is watching over me. I really don't have it so bad when I think about it that way ;)

I just can't wait for Thanksgiving break! I get to eat delicious stuffing and green bean casserole and it'll be cold, and I can wear sweaters and boots and jeans and I get to hang out at the mall at midnight for Black Friday and I get to be with my boyfriend and his family and my family and I get a break from school (kind of) and and and... it will be glorious!

Anyway, things are looking up, and I am so ready and grateful for them!

i hate his job

the end.

Also, I'm a brunette again. I need to stick with this because I always dye it and miss it!

sleepy

It's only 6:30 in the afternoon and I am exhausted.

I have been feeling really "down" about my weight lately. I don't know why. I haven't really fluctuated or anything, I am just blah. I have been trying to eat better, but I haven't weighed in awhile. I wish I had time to work out... or the drive to work out. I am just so tired after school and work! Then I have to study and cook food and I want to spend time with my Nathan... ugh. I dunno. I just want to be super tiny, but I am just not built that way. I wish I could be content and feel beautiful. I feel that at 25 I should be pretty confident and comfortable in my own skin, but I'm not. It's not that I have bad outlying factors involved. No one tells me I'm unattractive or fat, and Nathan is just the best about trying to make me feel beautiful, but I don't feel beautiful, and that's all the difference.

Enough emo.

I''m ready for my boyfriend to come home and give me hugs, but I'll have to wait.

in this twilight

I really love this song. I want to find a good stripped down version without all the noise (but that is that NIN sound).


*edit*
I found a pretty cool stripped down version (that I like more than the original). <3 <3 <3 <3
I love Trent's voice when he sings sings. <3

grilled cheengs sonchs

I got to embrace nostalgia last night with Nate. I went over his house and he made me gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup! :) It was great.

Oh, and it was raining and he met me outside with an umbrella. How flipping sweet. Yep, I'm gonna marry this boy.

my gap is no more!

I got my gap fixed today :)

 

Before

After!

I'm pretty flipping happy about it. I have a super white area where they filled the gap in, but they told me that if I bleached it a little bit it will blend right in, so I hope so!

I get to eat pasta tonight and kinda cheat on my diet. Also, nursing homework later!

bleh.

Good day ---> Bad night.

At least I get to get my teeth fixed today. Maybe that will help my confidence somewhat.

whitening teef is wut?

Ow-ch. in preparation for my new pearly whites (gap closing session TOMORROW! Eek!), I was told that it was a good idea to whiten my teeth to how I want them to be before bonding. This is because the whitening afterwards will not whiten the bonding, so I said, ok, I'll make them really white and then I'll just keep up with that every 6 months or so. No big deal right?

Wrong.

I got this teeth whitening stuff by Opalescence. I am supposed to wear it in a tray for 2-4 hours per the manufacturers instructions. Now, don't get me wrong, this stuff works like magic! In 2 hours my teeth were at least a few shades whiter, but oh man. The pain that my teeth were in. I brushed my teeth at around 3 AM, and man. The worst pain I have ever felt! Sensitivity is to be expected, but dude. This was no sensitivity. In fact, my teeth felt BETTER when introduced to hot stuff. That's no sensitivity.

I made my brother go to the store and get me some Sensodyne, which helped pretty much nil. So then I went and got some extra strength big daddy guns Orajel. It was green and I was rocking a fierce monster face.

That helped a little, but guh. I was drooling everywhere. It was hot. 8|

Anyway, I had been up for like 30 hours or something by noon, so I was flipping exhausted, but my teeth hurt just so bad! Finally the pain started to subside and after around 7 pm, I passed out. Like, dropped in the bed and was out before I even hit the pillow. My phone wasn't on silent and Nate called me like 4 times and I STILL didn't hear it if that gives you any idea of the amount that I was exhausted.

Anyway, lesson learned. If you're going to gel whiten your teeth with a 20% solution, do it for 30 minutes and work yourself up. Guhhhh.

I am so excited for new teeth tomorrow! Also, I can't wait to see Nathan. I think we are going to go to a cornmaze and carve plampkins (pumpkins) and be lovey and stuff because I miss him.

Also, thanks for prayers to every soul out there who took the time for me. I think I did at least okay on my pharmacology test. :)

Also, Also, I just had a dream that I was part of the SVU team and Olivia and Stabler and Ice-T was there and Stephen King was too and he was really nice and we were catching bad guys.

songs and pharmacology

I am supposed to be studying, but... I did for like 2 and a half hours and I need a break.

Boyfriend sent me this song and I super like it. It's sweet and pretty and I've listened to it like 150 times already.

It's the prettiest.

Anyway! I got my consult and I'm getting my teeth fixed Monday! Gulp! I'm so excited/scared. It helps to have a supportive boyfriend. I just hope I don't have bunny teeth afterward...

I was looking at really old (February of this year. Not too old, but how time has passed!) Facebook messages between me and Nathan and we were silly. I am so glad that we love each other and we don't have to say "I like you" anymore. I am the happiest I have ever been. God has sure blessed this girl :)

teef.

I forgot to say that I was going in for a consult to get my teeth fixed on Wednesday! SO EXCITED!

It's been a "thing"of mine for a long time. My gap. We are not friends and never will be. It hogs all of my photos and forces me to keep my mouth shut. Every time I look at a picture of myself, it's all that I can see! Everyone says it's "no big deal" and "you can't even see it!" but it's like when you have a big giant zit on your face and it's all you can focus on. I can't stand it! Partially I feel like I will look unlike myself without it since it's been a part of my smile for 25 years, but the other part of me can't wait to beam a smile and not have to worry about that big giant crack in the middle of my mouth! Anyway, I am going to go see how much it will cost. Let's pray it's not too much!

*not my mouth, but it's an idea.

weekends are bliss

This weekend was much needed!

Friday Nate and I went to go out to dinner and spend time with his grandparents, which was fun. I got to hear Nathan play piano and it always (almost) makes me cry. IT'S JUST SO GOOD UGH. Oh, and cute pictures of when he was a little babe, which was adorbs. Then I drove an hour and a half at around midnight to get home to see my mom and brother.

I don't know what it is, but whenever I come home, I can sleep forever and the best. Saturday Nathan came down to see me and we went and started shopping for our Halloween costumes... at Goodwill. (and I ran into Diz, what the heck!) We came away with some good stuff. I'm practically done, but I just need some little things to finish it. Then we went to Taco Mac and had a beer and some wings with some old friends of mine and then I had to drive Nathan home so he could leave for his business trip in the morning ;(

I hate having to let him go.

Sunday I went shopping with my meemaw (mom) and that is always fun! I found some more costume stuff for cheap, and I tried my hand at dyeing a shirt! It came out really good I think!

Nate's shirt cooking!

 
Also, I watched Revolver with my brother, and I just... nevermind.

ALSO, Sunday was our 8 month anniversary! 8 months has super flown by. I'm the happiest I've ever been with anyone and I'm so blessed to have him! I know it sounds kind of lame counting every month, but... I just love him and that's how it's going to be. I get on flipping Pinterest and see the shinies and the weddings and the houses and I used to think "man, I just want to get married", in general, but now it's "man, I just want to get married to Nate" and I sigh and daydream some more. I'm ridiculous.

I have to start thinking of Christmas presents. Dang.

It's starting to turn into the best season ever (Fall, duh). I swear, something happens in my brain that just makes me the happiest person in the entire world during Autumn. When Nathan gets back I want to carve pumpkins, go into the mountains and see the colors change, wear sweaters, take pictures, play outside, get lost in a corn maze, and all kinds of Fall-ish things. I just wish I wasn't in school... guh. Speaking of which, I really need to start studying Pharmacology!

Time to text my boyfriend and snuggle with my kittens and maybe kind of study.

No studying will get done with the cute cats around.

another "i should be studying but" post

I should be studying, but...

I don't feel like it. I am getting distracted with texts from Nathan, Pinterest (my poison), news about Steve Jobs' death (sad day), and looking at hair because it's been like 2 weeks since I've dyed it and that means that I need to dye it again because I'm weird. I made stuffed peppers the other night and they have been supplying me with lunch and dinner the past couple of days. I think it's time to make something new.

Also, I need to figure out what I'm going to be for halloween!
Also, I need to pass a test I have tomorrow that I should be studying for.
Also, my new job is good.
Also, sleep.

Praise God!

So I have been really antsy about a certain med math exam that I may or may not have failed 2 times and was waiting on my third to be graded... It was a big deal. I had to make 100 on a MATH (wut) test. The first time, I got all of the math right, but I wrote mg instead of ml on one question and failed. The second time, I got all of the math right except for the fact that I rounded to the tenths instead of the hundreths on one question. The third time (which was my last straw, mind you...) I PASSED! I have prayed countless hours and asked an infinite amount of people to pray and think of me for this test. I firmly believe in the power of prayer after this one. I am lucky enough to be able to continue at Piedmont for the Nursing program... that continues to stress me out minute by minute. Wait, why am I excited for this again?

I miss my Nathan. (There is a whole world of miss in that little sentence, but I think short and sweet will do.)