Insomnia

I can't sleep, so I am off and on studying for health assessment, looking at urban outfitters and anthropologie for crafty diy inspirations, craigslist for a cheap nightstand/mirror/desk, watching Law and Order, and babysitting jobs. What the heck. I should be sleeping, but alas, I am not and cannot.

This is where a sleep aid should come in handy. I find that if I take anything to help me sleep though, I feel just as tired in the morning as if I didn't sleep, so I might as well stay up and be somewhat productive than sleep and feel just as awful in the morning. I'll just get coffee and try and survive my 3 hour class in the a.m.

Anyway, I passed my first nursing check off just fine. My first test is Thursday, and I am a bit stressed about it since I don't know what the tests are like. Such is life. I cooked my first dinner ever in the house yesterday! I made pasta with a meat sauce and a nice salad for me and my boyfriend :) Then we watched Home Alone 2 and ate some ice cream. Nights like those make me the happiest!

I am the biggest home-body in the world. I like to go out and have my fun, but at the end of the day I want to be in my comfy, familiar house with my boyfriend (which doesn't happen nearly enough). I have the craft bug. I made a bunch of "crackle" frames that I need to fill with pictures. Next on my list is a jewelry "frame"! I think I have latched onto this because it's a way to relieve some of the mega ultra stress from nursing school. This is the most stressful thing I've ever done. Knowing the material is one thing, and the thing that I love the most, but having to apply it to real patients and being responsible for lives... that's the stressful part. I just want to be done with school and married and make money to pay off debts so I can make my own cutesy house and not have to worry as much. Can that happen please?

Boyfriend is still the best thing ever and I fall in love with him more and more everyday. It's fun to look back at my blogs about our first few dates and how everything progressed. It makes me smile to see how something so great has blossomed from a giant leap of faith. God has blessed me for sure. I wanna marry this man someday :)

Nursing School...

is the most stressful thing that I have ever attempted to do in my life. The amount of studying required is insane. My personal life has not suffered much yet, and I am working hard to keep everything in balance. It helps to have the most supportive boyfriend in the entire world. I was having a plethora of bad days in a row starting the night of my 25th birthday (sometimes nothing wants to work in your favor), and he made everything better. He made me dinner for my birthday (Harry Potter themed!), got me a ukulele, then the next day he got me an Alphonse Mucha (my favorite!) poster, then the next day he hand wrote me a letter about how much I meant to him and mailed it to me, we started praying together, and has just been immensely supportive. I have been praying for my entire life, and it has been a very important aspect of my life. But, praying with someone is very intrusive and personal. Even though right now we just pray in thanks over our food and for each other, it feels so right and like we are "bonding", even if it sounds dumb.

I am blessed, and trying so hard to "give everything to God". Here's to trying!

Cryptic Life Questions...

What am I doing? Is this all right? Is this how it is supposed to be? What if it's a mistake? What if it's not supposed to be? Who am I dealing with? What if there are secrets? What if I'm supposed to be somewhere else? How do I know? When will I know? Will I ever? Will it get clearer? Are there things that don't belong? Are there hidden things that come out later? What signs are there? What if I fail? How will I pick myself back up? Do I start over? Do I trust? Do I take words?

Stress

Well into my second WEEK of nursing school I have learned and done many things:

• had at least two crying fits/nervous breakdowns
• learned that I need to organize and prioritize
• appreciated that my boyfriend is the most supportive, amazing, wonderful man in the entire world
• prayed a whole lot
• read more than I have in my entire life
• slowly came to terms with the fact that I will have no life for 2 years
• made some new friends

 Needless to say that I am stressed. Nursing school itself has induced many headaches and sleepless nights already, and I am finding myself trying my hardest to NOT get behind. I think about giving up when I get frustrated and exhausted, and then I think about what I had to go through to get here. I found out this week that I was chose out of 200 applicants as one of 24 students in the program in Athens. Not to toot my own horn, but that really surprised me, and I am very grateful for it. I have been very blessed, and I know that I can't take any of this hard work for granted! God placed me here for a reason, and I am going to do my best.

I am finding my place in Athens. Things are still in boxes, and I feel like I haven't had a moment to do any serious settling in. My roommate seems to have been able to get unpacked and moved in in record time which is kind of ___________. I don't know how to feel about it. I kind of like to pretend that I live alone ;) I am also finding PLACES in Athens. It's fun to have Nate come over and him show me around and us explore. I really want to go thrifting soon. Last time we tried to go I was feeling like poop, so.

Umm... I really have been into jewelry lately. I want some more dainty silver rings and cute earrings. Etsy has been my online window shopping epicenter. I love it!

Also, my birthday is Sunday. A quarter-of-a-century years old. I hate that, but Nate is making me excited for my birthday. I know he has dinner planned, but I don't know details, and I am looking forward to my birthday for the first time in YEARS. Well, time to veg for a bit before I start to read more about Pharmacology and Med Math and Nursing Fundamentals and Health Assessment...