I'm married!

I'm a married woman! I have to write a more in depth blog about how awesome the day was and our honeymoon was! But I'm married to the handsomest man with the best beard and I'm happy happy happy! 

18 days and 14 hours

Until I get married! Freaky cool!

Nathan is off at a school fair (well was yesterday) so he had to spend the night and I miss him! It's been a long while since I have been without him! It seems that I can't sleep without him. I had a terrifying dream the other day. Nathan and I had gone to lay down for a nap and my brain decided to give me some terror. 

In my dream Nathan and I were shooting a wedding. Something happened where he was frustrating me, and I told him to go outside. I remember everyone just running outside and a crowd gathered. No one said anything other than the EMT: "he's dead". In my dream I just kept saying "no" over and over again and no one would let me get to him. Those words just over and over in my ears... I woke up in a deep sleep stupor and looked over at Nathan and I just started sobbing. He woke up and seemed terrified to see me like that. 

I have never done that before. I have never woken up and been so relieved and terrified at the same time that I literally sobbed. All I could think was "I cannot lose this man". Even when I KNEW he was there with me in the bed just sleeping away. Even though I knew it was a dream, it makes me realize how precious everything is. Well it reiterates it. I already know. 

I go to sign all of my papers with the hospital this morning. I am so relieved but scared at the same time. This opposite shift in schedules scares us both. I know that we can make it. But we both want at least the first year of marriage to be an easier one! This will make it a bit harder, but we need it. I can't believe I have reached this point in our lives. I have a BSN and I have a real job. I still feel like a student. I still feel like a kid.

I am about to start a new life as a wife. And soon (hopefully) a mom. Which throws everything else into perspective as our parents will be GRANDPARENTS and our grandparents will be GREAT grandparents. Our siblings will be uncles. The focus of things will be shifted to our Gift and not immediately on each other. I hope we will grow from it and not crumble. 

Life is hard and unexpected. But I am excited for it. I'm excited for all of these things to happen. I think way ahead and think about becoming grandparents. That blows my mind. But it will happen one day! I hope. 

All of these things run through my head as I am about to walk down the aisle in almost 2 weeks. I can't wait for that. I cannot wait to be with this man for the rest of our lives! To start a new chapter together. I always thought I'd be married by 21. Here I am at 27, joining with my love. I thought I'd have a baby by now. But I am trying to relax and enjoy the alone time that we will have as husband and wife before that happens. 

I am just ranting because I can't sleep. 

I miss Nathan. I can't wait for him to be home tomorrow (today!).

24 days

We got another baby cat! Meet Pepper (we call her Peppit)

I made a really good stew the other night. I need to utilize the crock pot more! 

24 days until I get married... 

I got a job at the health department. Today I have to tell them that I can't take it. I was offered my dream job! I did my practicum on the General Surgery floor at  a wonderful hospital here in Athens. It will be a night shift position, but Nathan and I talked about it and it will be a great thing for me and us together. Short term plan: Nathan will get back into school so he can do what he loves, and I can put away some money. Long term: do my year even if I hate it and then do what I want and have babies. 

But really, I'm really blessed. I'm up so early because I have this inner turmoil about telling them at the health department that I resign before I even started. It just doesn't seem like "me". But I guess it's better I tell them now than wait. The way this dream job of mine fell into my lap quite unexpectedly last night. I got an offer over the phone from the unit director, and I just can't pass it up. I really fell in love with it while I was there, and unfortunately there just wasn't a position open. But now there is! They are comfortable with our honeymoon date as well, so I am very happy and my entire family, my fiancé, and his mom, and my gut, tell me it's the right thing to do. 

God is blessing Nathan and I in some totally unexpected wonderful ways! 

I can't wait to get married! I do feel like night shift will be hard, but, I made it through nursing school with Nathan and I feel like we can make it for at least a little while as I start to learn the night shift! I also get to be first on the list to go to day shift if someone else leaves, etc. which makes me very happy!

I know this is scary, and I hate to turn down something I already agreed to, and it really hurts my heart, but like my friend said; "it's just business". 

I love God and I love Nathan and I love everything right now! 

24 days!

27?!?!

I'm old. I'm so close to 30 it hurts! But, I'm so so so happy!

I'm getting married in 31 days! I'm still praying daily for a job, but my hopes are high! Nathan made my day really special. He bought me a really cute jewelry holder that's a silver tree, and then he cooked me the tastiest dinner of oysters Rockefeller, Cajun chicken breast, and garlic mashed potatoes! It was the best I've ever had! I love him so so much. I can't wait to be his Mrs! 

Then I got my hair done! For the first time in a year and a half! 

It's a little "ombre" or whatever. But I love it! Counting down until our wedding day and honeymoon...